Dancing with the Stars Episode 8.09

The top nine gets trimmed to eight on Season 8 this week as the dance-off returns after a one-week break. Who battled until the end? And were the results complete, uh, bull?

So I guess the encore is back for good? This is historic, guys. An encore and a dance-off. In the same episode. I don't know if I'm ready for this. We're potentially seeing the best and worst of both worlds. Too bad Demi Lovato's on this week and not Miley Cyrus. This is a missed opportunity for some Hannah Montana promotion. What happened to synergy? (Yes, I know Demi's also a Disney puppet.) Anyhow, Derek and Kim get the honors this time. It would be rather unfair to have Gilles do it each week. I kid, I kid. Kim was awesome Monday. Not awesome? Whoever singing's "I'll Be." Jeez. Find a key.

Recap time! LT thinks he had aggression and was scary. Edyta was scared too. Maybe for real. She's never been relaxed with him, like she's afraid he may blow a gasket in front of her one day. I think I'd be too. I'm sure LT's a nice guy... just maybe too serious. Ty learns there's an actual robot dance. Cuteness! DAG feels like the judges treat him like an ignored stepchild. Hey, get them to marry Gisele. Melissa ripped her dress during the dance. At least she didn't use that as an excuse Monday night. Shawn's still seeking perfection. Gilles is still shirtless. Same ol', same ol'.

First two safe couples:

Shawn & Mark

Lil Kim & Derek

Etta James is here. "At Last." Could Beyonce not make it? Wink. And now we get to watch Maks and Karina rehearse their first dance... and flash the front row her sparkly crotch. Etta sounds hot as hell. Follow this up, Demi.

Sam throws a twist and corners two unsafe couples backstage: Ty and Chelsie, and Steve-O and Lacey. Ty wants to loosen up... which in Sam's mind means he's going to be a "tiny dancer." Duh! Steve-O's dad can do math. Sam is wearing one of my old Barbie doll's dresses, by the way. I don't think it could be any more florescent if it tried.

Next four safe couples:

Gilles & Cheryl

Steve-O & Lacey (Johnny Knoxville's thrilled!)

Chuck & Julianne

Melissa & Tony

If you haven't heard, the stars' lives have changed since they started Dancing. You don't say. Ty wears makeup now. Melissa's no longer worrying about PowerPoint presentations at work (again, I must ask: You know you're not Dancing forever, right?). Gilles trots out his toddler daughter this time, which means double the ovary explosion. Kim's worried her music's suffering. Show day, Shawn reports, starts very early. Because everyone averages, like, an hour in the spray tan booth, right?

This is the filler portion, so we get Macy's Stars of Dance featuring La Reve, followed by Demi Lovato. I can safely say I have never seen or heard Demi in anything... and I wished that were still the case. I also could've done without the gigantic pink bow over Torri Smith's ass.

Backstage, Sam tries to address Derek. Who ignores her. Amazing. Meanwhile, Chuck channels his best Carrie Ann. So he's afraid of girly moves, but he's not afraid of mocking a girl. Good to know.

Last safe couple:

Ty & Chelsie

This means it's a Battle of the Initials: DAG vs. LT. Who's gonna have the last laugh?

David Alan Grier & Kym Johnson: Viennese Waltz

I didn't think they were that bad last night, but I'm not surprised they are here. DAG definitely looks like he's putting his all into it - just look at his face. His extensions look better and they're both trying to get some chemistry going on. Mission: quasi-accomplished. Len enjoyed it on Monday and thinks this was better. Bruno likes the extra edge he's got going on. Carrie Ann felt the connection. They got a 22 on Monday.

Score: 24

Lawrence Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska: Paso Doble

Are his eyes closed? They look like they are. LT's still got the intensity and aggression down again, but there's still something lacking in his step. He still can't let himself go and just dance, which is a shame. Or maybe not? Maybe he does want out? It looks more or the less the same to me compared to Monday's. Bruno thinks he has potential, but needs to perform. Carrie Ann loves his power. Len likes that he improved with difficult music. Asked if he thinks he improved backstage, LT pauses for forever and a half before going with, "Actually... I'll say yes." I guess that says it all. They got a 20 on Monday.

Score: 20

So who's saying bye-bye? David and Kym. The crowd boos, kind of. Everyone has tears in their eyes. Shocker? Yes and no. I think DAG has overall been better than LT and at least he looks like he wants it. I'd prefer to stare up his nostrils than look at LT's sourpuss again. But I don't think anyone would deny LT has the bigger fan base. It's gotta suck knowing you improved, but you're victim to an apathetic nation. This is the second time the person with the higher and improved dance-off score left. DAG says he wanted to make Kym proud. Kym blames herself for not getting his sense of humor at first and says he did make her proud. Tears, for reals.