Twelve gets trimmed to 11 as the second star gets auf-ed on Dancing with the Stars. Think you know who it is? Don't bet on it.
Time for a recap of Monday night. Sigh. The fan reaction reminded LT of the Super Bowl. I think this is sacrilegious to say, no? Denise thinks she's in the bottom two and Maks is not amused. Karina and Steve have a new move for next week: The Pillsbury dough boy laugh. Don't write him off yet, guys.
Before we get down to business, Tom tells us next week there'll be a double elimination. Hey now! Dramatic, yes. Did they finally realize they wasted the first week? Or is it a ploy to ensure Woz will be out if he's safe this week?
First four safe couples:
Melissa & Tony
Gilles & Cheryl
Shawn & Mark (smart to get these out of the way)
Steve & Karina (Revenge of the Nerds! Karina blows out my eadrums. It's kind of endearing. The judges golf-clap. At least Bruno's not rocking the bitchface again. Major mistake dusting off those 3 paddles. Guess they can shill out the dough boy next week.)
Did Sam just call Gilles "Joe"? She grills Melissa more on how easy it is for her to dance. We're gonna beat this dead horse, aren't we? And Sam, Tom's not the only one not listening to you.
Four more safe couples:
Lawrence & Edyta
David & Kym
Chuck & Julianne
Lil Kim & Derek
They'll be back next week to do one of two new dances: the Lindy hop or the Argentine tango. What are they, you ask? Well, they just so happened to have Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas on standby to kill more time. I would pay to have all of the couples duplicate these two's routines. The Lindy hop is something about a young woman and swing. The Argentine tango is something about gauchos being seduced by grandmas. Cloris nearly kicks Corky in the crotch, and they make out. Somewhere, Mark is dying. As am I.
And now we have Hall & Oates (really, guys?) with "Maneater" - aka Karina (duh!) looking like a reject from Fame. She takes Maks' soul at the end. I mean, Eskimo-kiss. Adele follows with "Chasing Pavements." Nothing says making it stateside like appearing on Dancing. Edyta jumps out of nowhere wearing literally a washcloth to dance with her hubby, Alec Mazo... not to mention flash her va-jay-jay to the judges.
Because we have short-term memories, we are treated to an explanation of the dance-off. Again. America's not that dumb, guys. Apparently it's stressful, but it's about second chances. "You don't get many second chances in life," Gilles says. This is not life, babe. I think the dance-off is a good idea in theory, but not in practice, at least their practice. How much can you really improve in less than a day? And if the judges get to vote again, why can't the public? Or why don't you just not factor in the public vote? Oh, right, you guys don't want to take any responsibility for the outcome.
Two more safe couples:
Steve-O & Lacey
Ty & Chelsie
That means it's Holly and Dmitry vs. Denise and Maks. As painful it will be to watch them dance again, I have absolutely no problem with this bottom two. They were both bad. Denise regressed and Holly never improved. I do love the fact that Denise, and ergo Maks, may leave before Steve and Karina, especially since he told me he expects her to last long and his lovely Karina and Woz to get bounced first. Heh.
Holly & Dmitry: SambaThey got a 17 on Monday. She's concentrating on footwork and wants to keep her feet on the ground. Er, isn't that how you dance? Her feet are on the ground. Holly's attacking it this time, as opposed to just following Dmitry around like she usually does. She's still totally awkward from the waist down and is still counting. Len thinks she's hot. Or came out hot. Same thing. There was just one slip-up. Bruno says it outright: she's hot. Carrie Ann likes her feet and that she's a party. Well, it's always a party at the Playboy Mansion. Dmitry tries to make amends backstage for dissing Holly last night. He's proud of her for coming in so late. You mean you don't want to be eliminated.
Denise & Maks: SambaThey got a 16 on Monday. Maks is so beyond over it. Denise basically has to convince him to rehearse in case of the dance-off. He tells her to concentrate less on the steps and more on her facial expressions. Basically, do your day job and act. How ironic is it that a cowboy knows he must pull a DeNiro, but not a Bond girl? Nevermind, I just answered my own question. She's perkier this time and that's really about it. (I meant to ask this Monday, but why are they samba-ing to Filter?) She still needs a lot of work; she's just so... artless. Robotic. Vapid. OK, that's enough. No, it's not. Don't you love it that the bottom two features two people who've made their name on their looks and sexuality, and yet look so uncomfortable moving in their own bodies? Bruno thinks Denise improved leaps and bounds, but she tends to disconnect in the middle of the performance. Carrie Ann thinks she rocked it under pressure. Len thinks she deserves to stay.Score: 20 Carrie Ann flips a 6, but they flash a 7. There's an argument about math. Take this outside, guys. Sam stumbles over her words, as usual, and says they got a 23 before getting corrected. Can't speak and can't add either? Life's gonna be rough. Oh, wait...
And Season 8's second casualty is... Denise and Maks. Shock and aww? Not really. Denise never had a solid fanbase and her peronsa is, uh, divisive, to say the least. She improved four points, versus Holly's single point, and still got axed. Nevermind the fact that Woz overcame a friggin' score of 10.
What did you think? Can the Woz be stopped? Were you shocked by Denise's boot? What do you think about the double elimination next week? Are the judges going to tread more carefully knowing the size of the Woz's fanbase now? Who's your current pick to win? Vote below!