AceShowbiz - Fallen country music star Mindy McCready refuses to watch her seizure episode on U.S. reality TV show "Celebrity Rehab" - because she can't stand the idea of seeing herself in so much pain. The singer sparked a medical emergency when she suffered convulsions on the show, filmed at the Pasadena Recovery Center in 2009.

The graphic episode aired earlier this year, but McCready, who has no memory of the seizure, still hasn't seen the footage. She says, "I can't watch it."

However, during an interview with Mark Steines, Mindy McCready revealed that "Celebrity Rehab" has saved her life. The singer says, "A lot of people have said, 'Was that about TV for you � or was it therapy?' And I can't speak for everyone, but for me it changed my life. It saved my life."

She adds, "Dr. Drew said so many amazing things to me that really made me think I really, truly want to know what was wrong with me, what was going on inside my head, why was I acting the way that I was?"