AceShowbiz - Brad Pitt comes clean about his divorce from Angelina Jolie. In his cover interview for GQ's latest issue, the father of six admits that his alcohol addiction put a strain on his relationship with his family, but now he is really trying to be a better man for his kids.
"I can't remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn't boozing," he says. "And I'm running from feelings. I'm really, really happy to be done with all of that. I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year, you know - things I wasn't dealing with. I was boozing too much. It's just become a problem. And I'm really happy it's been half a year now, which is bittersweet, but I've got my feelings in my fingertips again. I think that's part of the human challenge: You either deny them all of your life or you answer them and evolve."
He also used to love wine, "Truthfully I could drink a Russian under the table with his own vodka. I was a professional. I was good." Now he replaces alcohol with "cranberry juice and fizzy water." He adds, "I just started therapy. I love it, I love it. I went through two therapists to get to the right one."
He reveals another of his personal issue, "I'm personally very retarded when it comes to taking inventory of my emotions. I'm much better at covering up." He explains, "I grew up with a Father-knows-best/war mentality - the father is all-powerful, super strong - instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and struggles. And it's hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven't been great at it."
Of his divorce proceedings, he says, "I was really on my back and chained to a system when Child Services was called. And you know, after that, we've been able to work together to sort this out. We're both doing our best. I heard one lawyer say, 'No one wins in court - it's just a matter of who gets hurt worse.' And it seems to be true, you spend a year just focused on building a case to prove your point and why you're right and why they're wrong, and it's just an investment in vitriolic hatred. I just refuse. And fortunately my partner in this agrees. It's just very, very jarring for the kids, to suddenly have their family ripped apart."
"So our focus is that everyone comes out stronger and better people - there is no other outcome," he continues. "I see it happen to friends - I see where the one spouse literally can't tell their own part in it, and is still competing with the other in some way and wants to destroy them and needs vindication by destruction, and just wasting years on that hatred. I don't want to live that way."
Now he finds solace in sculpting. "I'm making everything. I'm working with clay, plaster, rebar, wood," he says. "I don't really think of myself much as an actor anymore. It takes up so little of my year and my focus. Film feels like a cheap pass for me, as a way to get at those hard feelings. It doesn't work anymore, especially being a dad."