The 'Dancing with the Stars' winner says she never talked about her struggle of body image to her parents, 'because it was too painful.'
- Jun 12, 2015
AceShowbiz - Rumer Willis gets candid about constantly being bullied for her looks in a new essay for Glamour magazine's July issue. Rumer writes, "I was constantly bullied because of my looks, so I struggled a lot with my body image. I wanted to have no butt; I wanted to have no boobs. For a long time I just wanted to look tiny and androgynous."
The daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore says she never talked about her struggle to her parents. "I never really shared what I was going through with my parents, because it was too painful," she shares, "I didn't know how to ask for help or how to even bring it up."
She continues, "But I do remember my mom telling me, 'There's always going to be someone who's a better singer. There's always going to be someone more fit. There's always someone who's going to be, in your mind, better than you-who you're comparing yourself to. But you can't do that, because you will live such an unhappy life.' It just took me a long time to put that advice into practice."
Rumer also had hard times being trailed by paparazzi. "There were times when personal stuff in my life was blasted everywhere and I couldn't leave my house for a week because I would be aggressively and dangerously followed," she says, "But the real pressure comes from the Internet and social media-the mentality that it's OK to attack people from behind a computer screen. Strangers say the nastiest things. Until recently the thought of making one misstep that could be criticized would stop me from trying new things and from standing up for myself."
The 26-year-old actress and singer reveals "Dancing with the Stars" helped her get over her fear of failure and regain the self-confidence she had been missing. "When I signed on to do the show, I didn't know what to expect. I had no dance training, had never played sports or even worked out much before, but I came in with an open mind," she explains, "I just wanted to become the best dancer I could be."
"The first day I danced on-air, I was nervous; I had been struggling, and the dress rehearsal hadn't gone well," the "Sorority Row" actress recalls, "But after I finished I felt more beautiful than I had in my entire life. Not because of how I looked-it's not about having on a fancy dress or having your hair and makeup done-but because of what I'd accomplished and worked so hard for. When you conquer something you didn't think you could do, energy and confidence radiate out of you, and that's more beautiful than if you were skinny or had the perfect face."
While Rumer's performances on "Dancing with the Stars" wowed the judges and the viewers, the online bullying hasn't stopped yet. "Just because I was celebrated on 'Dancing with the Stars' doesn't mean the bullying has stopped," she says, "After the show started, I had to block almost 10 people every day on social media because they wouldn't leave me alone. But when it happens now, I remind myself that focusing on people's negative opinions will only make me feel like crap. If I start to get discouraged, I take a step back and go, All right, I don't feel great today, but what can I do to shift how I'm thinking? It's difficult, but the moment you stop saying, 'I'm really fat,' or 'I'm ugly,' and just say, 'Wow, I have this,' then you'll see a change."
Rumer also offers advice on bullying, saying, "We all need to stop bullying ourselves and being cruel to other women. Attacking one another instead of supporting one another has become the norm. Life's hard enough as it is. Let's find strength in the fact that we're different and unique. Let's allow ourselves to say, 'These are my flaws, but I'm still beautiful.' Let's find our own value, know what we have to offer-and know that that is enough."
