Undateable Episode 2.01 A Japanese Businessman Walks Into a Bar

Justin walks into the bar wearing a turtleneck Nicki gave him to show off while they FaceTime that night... which they apparently do every night. Wait, didn't she move away and dump him? After changing into a less embarrassing shirt, Justin tries to put the moves on Erica, Danny's super-cute friend hanging out at the bar. As the gang, including new waitress Candace, watches in horror, Justin shows off his cardio hip-hop moves, which inexplicably work on Erica. She tells him to text her if he wants to hang out after work, which Danny explains means she wants to have sex with him. Justin's not looking for a relationship, and still has this weird thing with Nicki, but gets up the nerve to text her after Danny says she might be into a one-night stand. Of course, Justin sucks at texting women, so Shelly grabs the phone and quickly sends the perfect message: Justin. Tonight... Slap that ass.

The next morning, Justin giddily walks into the kitchen to brag to Danny about getting laid. Of course, Danny already knows this because they share a very thin wall. Danny explains that the key to a one-night stand is when she leaves, he's got to let her go and not say anything about seeing her again. Justin is terrible at this, but manages to hold it together until Erica leaves... but then she comes back in looking for her keys. Justin just can't help himself - he asks her out again. Way to go, Justin...

Later, Leslie hits the gym and notices a new inspirational poster on the wall that reads "Achieve Perfection." Only, something is familiar about the image... it's her butt! She tells the manager how flattered she is that the gym considers her butt "perfection," but he scoffs at her, saying if she works hard enough, maybe someday her ass will look like that. Now Leslie's pissed. She snaps a pic and shows the guys back at the bar, who instate Operation Booty Recall to steal the poster from the gym. Shelly's role will be to distract the manager, which he somehow interprets to mean he will play a Japanese businessman.

Just then, Justin and Danny stop by and explain Justin's predicament. Danny says he needs to just "dagger" Erica and tell her he doesn't want a relationship. But Justin has a more cowardly plan, in which he dates her for a month and then takes a "business trip." Not wanting to wait a month, Danny steps in and dumps Erica for him. Justin's furious - he didn't want to do things Danny's way because he's not a bad guy like him. Danny can't believe he'd think that, so Justin polls everyone and it's official: Danny's a bad guy.

That night, the gang swaps out the poster at the gym, using a picture of Brett's butt rather than Leslie's. Leslie is overjoyed to have her ass back, though everyone is concerned they won't get Shelly back. He's taken this Japanese businessman role a bit too seriously and is now speaking in an accent and sipping sake. But perhaps a meaty new role is just on the horizon, as Danny bursts in, accusing Justin of being the bad guy, not him. To resolve the debate, Danny proposes a fake trial, and Shelly immediately volunteers for the role of judge. Justin's first witness is Leslie, who admits that Danny has dated all of her friends and treated every one of them horribly. Danny counters that all these women have actually moved on from him very quickly, while Justin, who's desperate to be liked, tends to string women along. To prove this, he calls his next witness: Candace, who admits under oath that she knows she's a terrible waitress. Danny then asks her if Justin has been casually hinting at letting her go with statements like "money's tight" as part of his plan to reduce her shifts so she quits and he doesn't have to fire her. Candace is hurt and Justin's upset that Danny blew up his spot.

That's when Danny calls a surprise witness: Erica. She says she wished Justin were just straight with her from the beginning. Justin apologizes to Erica, and Danny proposes a vote as to Justin's guilt. Everyone reluctantly finds him guilty. That night, Danny interrupts Brett's FaceTime with Nicki, and explains he was just trying to teach him that stringing someone along isn't okay, especially because it's what Nicki is doing to him. Justin and Nicki are over and it's obvious to everyone but Justin. The gang agrees, but Justin still doesn't want to hear it and leaves. Later, everyone stops by the house to find Justin sitting in the dark. He called up Nicki and she daggered him, right in the heart. God, it's annoying when Danny's right.