Harry's Law Episode 2.17 The Contest

"I'm trying very hard to be fair here," Berman says as he tries to get back his firm's three million dollars, which Harry took from him in a settlement agreement. Harry and Tommy fight back and tell him no way in hell they are returning the money. "Then I'll sue you," Berman threatens as he reminds her Adam even collaborated in a sworn deposition that it was obvious he was mentally incompetent when he agreed to the three million dollar agreement. Harry tells Phoebe, Berman's lawyer, that all lawyers in essence are mentally incompetent wackos; they are never going to win in court saying Berman is any different. "Bottom line," Harry tells them, "you're not getting a f#@%ing penny."

As Phoebe is walking out of the office, Oliver asks for her help in a case. Oliver introduces her to Mr. and Mrs. Donner. They are concerned their 18-year-old daughter, who was just accepted to Yale, might be using drugs. She hasn't been herself lately and even found enough money to buy a car, which her parents don't understand how she was able to afford. The next day, Phoebe talks to Jessica Donner at the high school, and she adamantly denies that anything is wrong with her. She feels her parents are just scared that she's growing up so fast.

"I will not pay that man, that firm, a nickel," Harry pointedly tells Tommy as they share a beer in the kitchen. Berman walks in with a wily ploy to drop his lawsuit; all Harry has to do is to come back to her old firm. Berman laughs at how her current firm is made up of discarded miscreants and is half a shoe store; it couldn't even win a category at the upcoming Lockober fundraiser. Harry takes the bait and vows that her firm will win the Lockober fundraiser and show all the other Cincinnati firms that they're a force to be reckoned with.

"I did a very stupid thing last night," Harry tells her firm at a company-wide meeting. She entered them into the Lockober fundraiser so they can beat Berman's firm. "Do you know what that competition is?" Cassie asks. It's basically a glorified beauty pageant for lawyers with categories like hottest female/male attorney and sexiest paralegal. Harry starts assigning categories to the cries of protest; Oliver and Cassie are up for hottest couple, Tommy for most eligible bachelor over 50, and Lisa and Chunhua for sexiest paralegals.

Oliver and Phoebe are with Mr. and Mrs. Donner at Jessica's school locker as the principle finds massive amounts of a prescription drug called Just In Case; it's emergency birth control. Turns out Jessica has been dealing the morning-after pill to her fellow students who are under age and is now going to be charged with a felony for selling prescription medication. Jessica denies that she has been doing anything wrong. She doesn't sell it for a profit, just at cost, and feels she's helping out her fellow teenagers who have sex but aren't old enough for the pill or are too afraid to ask their parents for help.

Harry shares dinner with Adam as he updates her that everyone has either agreed or been coerced into helping with the fundraiser. "You're about to lecture me again," Harry confirms with Adam as he gives her a worried look. Adam is just concerned that she is going to great lengths just to show up her old firm, and sometimes doing things out of spite or revenge can lead to a disastrous end. Harry gets serious. "I'm tired of the way people think about us," she tells Adam. "We are not fuddy-duddy. We are far from it. I may be sixty; I may be short, but I'm damn hot. I sizzle in fact. And I want to win this competition... I want to get the news out there. The Law Offices of Harriet Korn... we're sexy; we're hip, and we're hot!"

The court comes to trial for the State v. Jessica Donner. Oliver and Phoebe represent Jessica while morally righteous, closeted immoral, A.D.A. Upton Cruickshank is the prosecutor. Cruickshank fights the case on his moral high ground, claiming because Jessica sells birth control pills to minors, she is in participation of statuary rape, under-age copulation and promoting sin. "Your honor," Oliver interrupts, "this guy is a whack job and I request he be removed." Cruickshank insist he is not a whack job; he just understands the corruptive powers of enablers, of which Jessica is one, and "dispersing birth control pills that enable young girls, minors, to have illegal sexual relations" is immoral and illegal.

Jessica is determined to fight her charges as she feels she's doing the morally right thing. "I never meant this to be my cause in life," Jessica says on the stand as Oliver questions her. She feels the government is letting politics not science make the laws. The FDA approved the morning-after pill for girls under 18, but the Obama administration overruled their findings; "that's politics totally trumping science and it pissed me off!" As Cruickshank questions Jessica, he gets her to admit that she willfully sold and distributed prescribed medication knowing that it was against the law. By her actions, she could easily have caused bodily harm to a minor who might be allergic to the medication or have it counteract another medication the minor was already taking.

Berman walks up to Harry and decides to let her out of the Lockober fundraiser bet if she wants it. Harry tells him that in no way is she backing out; her firm is going to win. Berman pokes the bear and provokes Harry to go double or nothing on their bet. She quickly agrees, and as Berman walks out with a smile, Harry realizes she was just played. By doubling the bet, Harry just agreed to pay Berman three million dollars if she loses - the exact sum he is suing her for. "See you at the ball, Cinderella!" Berman laughs as he walks away.

After several witnesses give their views on why they agree with Jessica's right to sell the morning-after pill, Cruickshank rebuts their testimony by telling the court "this discussion isn't about whether the drug should be available to minors with a prescription. Under the law it isn't. The only issues before this court is, did the defendant commit a crime?" Under the current laws of the state, Cruickshank summarizes, she did.

It's closing arguments for the case. Cruickshank stands in front of the jury and tells them the facts of the case couldn't be simpler. "Jessica Donner sold and distributed a regulated medication to under-age minors. We call that trafficking." He argues that Jessica Donner is not a doctor yet she is treating people with dangerous medication; "she's not in any position to understand the intricacies of drug interaction." Phoebe handles closing arguments on behalf of Jessica. She tells the jury that Jessica's school only teaches abstinence. Society seems to be afraid of sex, and the only way teenagers can be safe is if they protect themselves. Jessica was doing what was right, and the law that prevents her and her fellow teenagers from protecting their bodies is just wrong.

It's a wild time at the Lockober fundraiser as the law firms of Cincinnati act raucous by displaying their best assets. Harry has an air horn and sounds it every time someone from her firm takes the stage. "There he is, looking so cocky," Harry says as Berman gives her a teasing wave. Tommy takes the stage and struts his stuff, driving the crowd wild as he teases them with sex appeal and magic. Chunhua drives all the men crazy as she dances in an alluring skintight outfit, and Lisa sizzles in a surprising seductive striptease.

The jury has reached a verdict in Jessica's case. "Positive thoughts," Phoebe tells Jessica as she trembles with fear. The jury finds the defendant, Jessica Donner... not guilty. Jessica breathes with relief as she hugs Phoebe.

After all the hullabaloo and stripteasing, the Lockober fundraiser winner goes to the Law Offices of Harriet Korn! They erupt in excitement as Harry has shown the city of Cincinnati that they are a firm to be reckoned with. Harry blows a kiss to Sam Berman who angrily takes a drink and watches in disappointment as Harry and the group come together as a family and celebrate. "I just wanted to beat that putz," Harry says in excitement as everyone raises a glass to the bright future of a fine firm and an even finer family.