Greek Episode 3.05 Down on Your Luck

The ZBZs are having run. They've been stood up by Pi Sigma three times now, the new pledges aren't up to the house's usual levels, and it turns out that Ashleigh's decision to get a new flat-screen TV instead of upgrading the fire sprinklers was a bad idea. So bad that all the girls wind up on the front lawn on Friday night, half-dressed in mud masks, while a truckful of hot fireman tromp through and tell them it's just a false alarm.

Also, even though Ashleigh's about to go on her first post-breakup date with Fisher, she's still ignoring Rebecca. Who confronts Ash, who breaks it down for Bex, shutting her down hard.

Casey tries to pep-talk the pledges, but charity new girl Abby gets way up in her face about all the house's issues. It takes everything Casey's got to keep it together. At least she's psyched to tell them about the Lambda Sig pledge calendar. The ZBZs have always had July, the primo month, and they've always posed in sexy bathing suits. Unfortch, this year they get November. Huh? Panhellenic prez Katherine gives Casey a cold shot of honesty when she explains all the reasons ZBZ is "slipping" and is now ranked "fourth ...ish." It's all part of the cycle," she says: Houses rise and fall.

Case and Ash decide that, despite extreme senioritis, they'll do all they can to save the house. So they stage their own November photo shoot on the front lawn, but it's too late -- the photo's hot, but the calendar's already at the printer.

Rusty's ecopolymer project isn't going quite the way he'd hoped. The renewable plastic just shrivels up. But that's not nearly as much of a downer as Jordan's lack of direction. After ruling campus in the "Gotcha!" game, she's kind of a funk about her life. And, fears Rusty, maybe even about their relationship. So he bombards Prof. Hastings, his project sponsor, with TMI, till a totally fed-up Hastings barks, "Pin her!" Hey, not a bad idea for a geezer geek. Yes! Rusty will lavaliere Jordan.

One problem: the Kappa Tau curse. Cappie explains the legend. Basically, KTs are commitment-phobes, and the house's history book actually lists all the disasters caused by lavaliering. More or less. Uh, the Titanic? But Rusty's determined. He buys the last KT lavaliere at the school store. And then... Beaver accidentally swallows it. The curse strikes again!

Rusty's resigned to waiting for the lavaliere to exit the Beaver, but Cappie gives him a lavaliere he just happened to have ... yep, they don't have to say it was meant for Casey. Sad face. Sadder still: Just when Rusty's made a dinner reservation to lavaliere Jordan, she comes boucing in to say she's on the waitlist for a semester in Rome. Rome?! She wants to go immerse herself in the art.

Rusty loses heart, but no one's told his KT bros, who kidnap and cello-wrap him to a post -- it's a KT lavaliere tradition. When Jordan finds him and pulls the duct tape off his mouth, he confesses both his intentions and that her Rome plans made him think she'd turn him down. she says going away has no bearing on their relationship, and she wouldn't turn him down anyway. So she gets the lavaliere, but then ... she doesn't get into the program. No Rome.

Newly broke Evan is scanning a campus bulletin board for jobs when Cappie shows up with some excellent suggestions. He could work at a massage parlor, or become a sperm donor ... or be a cater waiter. Third time's the charm, and Cappie goes with Evan to sign up. That's when he sees Lana, a hot waitress who's strangely immune to his charms. Undaunted, Cap signs on as a bartender just to get near her.

At their first catering event, Evan's having a hard time dealing with the diners' attitudes. He tells Cap he's just as trapped by poverty as he was by money. Meanwhile, Cappie proves that, for all his time in bars, he can't mix a drink. Lana's extra unimpressed, since that means she has to both make and serve drinks. At the end of the night, $146 richer, Cap quits, fed up by pointing out that her number's on the staff phone sheet... which staffers get and quitters don't. But hope springs eternal, and Cap trades Evan his tips for the number.

Meanwhile, the ZBZ pledges rally without any help from the big sisters. They all show up at Dobler's in full-on sexy pilgrim and Native American costumes, dazzling the crowd and kinda redeeming the house. And just as ASh is about to go meet Fisher, she and Bex thaw slightly. Also, Abby and Casey both apologize. It's a good moment, and As sums it up: "Screw the cycle. We're ZBZ, damn it."