Better Off Ted Episode 2.02 The Lawyer, The Lemur and the Little Listener

Ted loves having Rose in Veridian's after-care because he gets to see her more. The downside is all the boring stories his daughter rattles off each day about the children of his co-workers. But Rose's gossip of a Veridian kid's dad who is about to get fired piques her pop's interest. Turns out one of her after-care classmates has a dad who is head of human resources.

Veronica wants to use Rose as a spy to determine if anyone on her team is headed for the corporate chopping block. Ted reluctantly agrees and they learn that one of their top engineers may be on his way out the door. Ted and Veronica do a preemptive strike by singing the praises of the engineer to the higher-ups. The plan works and the top dogs call off Operation Termination.

Veronica wants to pump Rose for more intel. She shows up at Ted's place with pizza and the promise of a signed photograph of Zac Efron. They learn that another engineer, Jeffrey, is moving on Saturday. He's headed for Seattle, which happens to be home to one of Veridian's top competitors. They fear that Jeffrey is planning to jump ship with Veridian technology.

When Jeffrey sees the Veridian extraction team (in full SWAT gear) in his office, he takes off running. So they Taser him. As it turns out, Jeffrey wasn't moving to Seattle. He was just going to see cattle. Apparently, Jeff likes looking at cows. Jeffrey is reinstated. Ted apologizes and asks if there's any way he could make it up to him. He probably shouldn't have done that while standing next to a guy with a Taser. Those sounds you hear behind closed doors are the anguished screams of our favorite Senior VP of Research and Development.

Lem is in a relationship with Nadine, one of the company lawyers. They usually meet in Nadine's office for some corporately convenient booty calls. These little interludes may be opportune, but they're also expensive. Anytime you meet with a Veridian lawyer, be it for estate planning or sex on the sofa, it's considered billable hours. So they've been docking Lem's paycheck.

Lem takes his 300-dollar-an-hour dilemma to Nadine, who finds this to be a naughty turn on. Looks like Lem is about to take another pay cut. But the relationship proves to be too costly for Lem. He eventually breaks up with Nadine during a 10-minute discussion that costs him an additional 50 bucks.

Linda is writing a children's book featuring a lemur who happens to look a lot like Phil. This could be her ticket out of Veridian. But she can't let the company catch her working on it; otherwise they'll claim the rights to the product. Linda decides to call out sick for a few days to work on her book at home. But she's stuck for an ending until Phil stops by for a brainstorming session.

Linda says, "The lemur feels stifled, living a small, uninspired life in his little tree. His friends rally around him and help him find the courage to go off and seek his fortune." It doesn't take a genius to see that the lemur who looks like Phil is actually a lady named Linda. Phil helps her realize that the lemur doesn't need to go off and seek his fortune because the only fortune anyone ever needs is friendship. It's an inspired ending to the story. Then Linda says, "Suck it, Veridian. I am rich and I am outta here!" Like we said, it's inspired.

The lemur Linda created turns up on the Internet. It seems her publisher is owned by a huge evil conglomerate that's featuring her character in an Asian commercial selling beer to kids. She has no choice but to approach Veronica, as she wants Veridian to take possession of the manuscript to fight this other corporation.

Veronica is more than understanding. Wait, no she isn't. She mocks Linda for coming to the company she longs to leave to rescue, which it will. So this book won't be Linda's ticket out of Veridian. But at least Linda gets the satisfaction of reading her story to the kids of Veridian after-care. Don't you just love a happy ending?