Episode PremiereJanuary 25, 2012
Show Period2011 - 2013
Production CompanyStuber Productions, Universal Media Studios
Whitney gathers her photography equipment as she prepares for her latest job, shooting a crime scene. Alex is nervous for her; he thinks taking photos of "a lifeless body with dead eyes" is creepy. Whitney tries to calm him down; it'll be just like photographing models. Whitney's photography business is reaching a dead end; no one wants to hire a professional when they can just use their phone. Alex offers to pay for her bills until her business picks up. Whitney refuses; she doesn't want to become financially dependent on him.
Whitney arrives at the crime scene and thanks Mark for telling her about the job. Mark warns her about seeing a dead body for the first time; a murder scene can be really sad. Whitney sees that Mark is shaking from the cold weather and asks why he's not wearing a jacket. Mark had a one-night stand with a woman last night in his apartment and forgot his jacket when he sneaked out in the morning. Whitney walks up to the dead body. He's old, bloated and looks like he's been dead for two weeks. Suddenly the body coughs! Whitney jumps back in fright. It wasn't the body, just a resting detective.
Later, Whitney meets up with Roxanne and Lily at a bar. Roxanne is looking for a new assistant but is not having any luck. She did interview a cute guy with potential, but she doesn't want another sexual harassment lawsuit filed against her. Whitney mentions that she's looking for a job since the fun of photographing dead bodies has worn off. Roxanne is a little hesitant; Whitney has never worked in an office before where people are political, competitive and constantly backstabbing each other. Whitney thinks the job sounds fantastic.
Mark arrives home at the end of a long day to find Jenn, his one-night stand, still in his apartment. She's been there all day and is looking forward to getting cozy for another night. Mark smiles horrifyingly. The next day, Whitney prepares for her first day as Roxanne's assistant. She's excited for the new experience and opportunity while Alex jokes that she'll probably just be making coffee. Whitney's never had an office job before; but she's watched "The Office" on TV, so she's expecting her day to be hilarious. Whitney asks Alex if he'll be okay in the house all alone. Alex smiles; he's excited to do things by himself. After she leaves, Alex prepares to make coffee, but he can't find the grinds anywhere. Whitney used to make the coffee, and now he's at a loss to find anything in the apartment.
Roxanne shows Whitney around the office. Whitney is really excited to be working with Roxanne, but Roxanne quickly corrects her... working "for me." Roxanne explains how one of Whitney's assistant duties will be to spy on her enemy. An online editor named Craig is her work nemesis, and Roxanne wants to know everything he's doing. Whitney is excited for the task. She starts by trying to befriend Craig's assistant, Leslie, but finds her standoffish. Whitney tries another tactic to gain Leslie's favor by pretending to be a lesbian. Whitney asks Leslie if she's interested in grabbing a drink after work. Leslie quickly fires back, "no." Whitney's not her type.
Back at the apartment, Alex struggles to find where everything is kept. He tells Neal how this apartment used to be his; but Whitney has reorganized everything, and he's now finding tampons where his gloves used to be. Mark walks in wearing full hockey gear. Jenn has turned the one-night stand into a two-day stay. She's still in his place, and he's forced to lie about having hockey practice just so he can be alone. Neal says his excuse is too short term; there's a clingy girl in Ohio that thinks he's dead. Mark doesn't feel comfortable bluntly telling Jenn to leave because he doesn't want to see her cry. Alex agrees, a crying girl is the worst. That's why Whitney is great; she ran out of tears a long time ago. Later, Alex attempts to tell Jenn to leave Mark's apartment, but falls for her naive charm.
Whitney meets Craig in his office. She attempts to get out of him what he's working on for the Valentine's issue. Craig tells her he's trying to use romantic photos for a layout, but it's not coming together. Whitney looks at the romantic photos and starts to sarcastically caption them. The next day, Whitney tells Roxanne that her snooping found out that Craig's photo feature is failing. Then Craig excitedly walks in; because of Whitney's help with the sarcastic photo captions, his layout is a huge success on the web! Roxanne angrily looks at Whitney; she just helped her nemesis succeed! Whitney tries to apologize to Roxanne, but she's livid. Roxanne hired Whitney to find out information to keep her ahead of Craig, but instead she helped Craig become a success!
Alex shows Neal and Mark a chart he's made on how a man should properly organize his apartment. Everything on the chart is organized by logic, not feelings. Later, Lily agrees to help Mark get rid of Jenn. They arrive in Mark's apartment, and Lily blatantly tells Jenn that Mark wants her to leave. Mark is dumbstruck by Lily's directness. He was always taught men should never tell a woman the truth, but the truth worked! Jenn thanks Lily for being honest as she gathers her things and walks out. After she leaves, Mark looks at his empty apartment and realizes Jenn is gone forever... he's made a terrible mistake!
Whitney tells Alex how terrible she feels for hurting Roxanne at work. Then Roxanne enters the apartment and apologizes to Whiney for yelling at her and being too competitive at work. She is just scared that Craig and the web-based side of her industry will overtake her traditional magazine side, and she is too old to learn a new trade. Whitney understands how Roxanne feels; her photography career has just been killed by a 99-cent app. The two friend's makeup as Roxanne tells Whitney how great her photo captions turned out. Whitney is just happy to finally find something she's good at. Roxanne wants Whitney to stay with the job, so one day she can steal some of her ideas too. Whitney happily tells Alex that she's not fired, so she'll have no need to be dependent on him anymore. Alex is happy for Whitney and admits that it turns out he's really dependent on her... he was lost in his own apartment without her!
At a bar, Whitney and Lily pretend to be lovers in order to gain favor with Leslie. Lily gets really into playing Whitney's lover by overzealously licking Whitney's finger. Leslie see's right through their facade and realizes they are not really lesbians. In fact, with the awkward way they are making out, they've turned Leslie off of lesbianism forever.