"Yeah, democracy is fantastic, but it's also f*cking dull." - Amy
At the Senate, a sleepy Veep presides over a session that will not require her tie-breaking vote. As Selina nods off live on C-Span, Amy fields the first WTF call.Amy
The next morning, Selina's clean-jobs bill is ready for launch as Mike waits to prep her on this evening's speech for the Firefighters Association. Sulking because of the day's light schedule, the Veep walks out on Mike's pitch of fireman gags to castigate Dan for being late. Dan assumed his boss was invited to the White House fiscal-responsibility meeting. Deciding she cannot let this POTUS snub stand, Selina races bare-foot to crash the party.Amy
Wicked Witch of the West Wing
Convinced the President is avoiding a confrontation with her, the Veep directs her staff to find out if his support for clean jobs is waning. Dan is the man for the job.
Trying to stop the Veep from "self-Google-ing," Amy, Gary and Mike inform their boss of nicknames bloggers have given her, sparing her the worst. Hearing the litany of derisive monikers, Selina catches a Secret Service agent choking back a guffaw.
"This bill is a f*cking disgrace. And I'm going to see to it personally that it gets chewed up like a dead prostitute in a wood chipper." - Sidney Purcell
Mike's jokes for the Firefighters Association go down in flames. The Veep and Amy work late on the draft bill for clean jobs. The Secret Service agent snickers his way out of a job. Gary's first Zumba class is ruined by the Veep's desire for crab-cakes.
Selina discovers she's not so thick-skinned after she presses for more blogger VP handles. "Viagra Prohibitor" really hurts and Selina instructs Amy to stop the nickname search.
"This is like being operated on by a f*cking chimp with a hacksaw and a hard-on! Radical stuff." - Jonah
Dan agrees to see a head-banger band with Jonah in order to pump him for information. In the mosh pit, Jonah exalts his favorite band: Dan tries to connect with Jonah's enthusiasm, "That's exactly how I feel about the clean-jobs legislation." How high on the POTUS agenda it will be is to be revealed tomorrow.
As work wraps up, Selina ponders what she would do with the tanking economy. Amy warns Selina not to put herself in the POTUS's shoes: "It's the VP bear-trap." In the hallway, Amy and Selina make nice with oil guy Sydney Purcell who not-so-gently informs Amy that the clean jobs bill will never happen.
"The Selina who killed America" - Dan
The next day, Dan and Mike play devil's advocate on the clean jobs bill. Dan argues that blue-collar Americans will be wiped out if the bill passes - labeling the legislation "class genocide." Mike's chief criticism is that he didn't fully understand it.
But all the prepping, re-drafting and Jonah-romancing comes to naught when the POTUS decides the fiscal responsibility bill is priority #1 - dropping the clean-jobs bill.Selina fumes at being so caught off guard. The blogger with the dirt was using a Veep nickname the staff hadn't tracked, "Mrs. Doubt-Meyer." Amy and Mike oppose Dan's idea of having a sympathetic senator add the best parts of the clean-jobs legislation to the fiscal responsibility bill. It would be disloyal. Dan claims Sen. Macauley is sponsoring the amendment anyway, so Selina wouldn't be stabbing the President in the back.
"This is some weird ass through-the-looking-glass shit right now." - Selina
A trip to Paris is postponed when the Veep must cast the deciding vote on the Macauley Amendment. If the bill passes, the meat of the Veep's clean-jobs policy would be enacted. Selina wants to vote her conscience but doesn't know what that is. Dan hates the policy but says vote for it and back your own agenda. Amy wants her to vote against their pet project because the President doesn't want it.
"You have drawn the fat straw." - Jonah
A dispirited Veep wonders why she even got into politics, after having to pull the plug on her own beloved policy initiative. But her day only gets worse when the POTUS - via Jonah - puts her in charge of the obesity program. "I've got to say, "I'm the Vice President of the United States, put the cupcake down!' That's now my job?"