Undateable Episode 2.05 A Priest Walks Into a Bar

Danny's Twitter feed of Things That Suck and Things That Don't Suck in Detroit has really taken off, and Leslie wants him to turn it into a career. She offers to get Danny an interview for a job at The Detroit Weekly, but Danny says he already has an awesome job... delivering pizzas. Justin agrees with Leslie - Danny is 31 and has done nothing with his life. He's dangerously close to becoming a loser.

So Leslie and Justin help Danny with his resume, which is a total disaster - one of his special skills is Microsoft Words with Friends. That's when Danny admits that Justin really hurt his feelings when he called him a loser. Justin immediately wants to apologize, but Leslie convinces him to give Danny some tough love, otherwise Danny will blow off the interview like he always does. If Justin acts nice and ruins this, Leslie will kill him. To prove she's not kidding, she puts Justin in a headlock until he passes out. After he comes to, Justin tries his best to be mean to Danny, telling him he doesn't believe in him. It doesn't last long. Danny calls him a mean person, causing Justin to immediately crack and apologize. Damnit, Justin!

Meanwhile, Shelly's been hooking up with a super hot new lady, Vanessa, who summons him every night after midnight. Shelly hopes it'll turn into something more, but for right now he's just a booty call. Candace is appalled - booty calls never turn into real relationships! So she decides to help Shelly by becoming his Booty Call Sponsor. Every time he wants to go over to Vanessa's place, Candace will stop him. They set up a fake booty phone call for Shelly to practice turning Vanessa down, but instead, he ends up charming Candace, distracting her while he runs off to see Vanessa. Candace chases after him and convinces him not to accept lowly booty call status. So Shelly invites Vanessa to the bar and tells her how he really feels about her. Unfortunately, Vanessa doesn't think he's the kind of guy that she "date-dates," but she's still open to hooking up. Shelly's brokenhearted, but Candace is proud that he's finally learning to value himself.

Back at Danny and Justin's house, Leslie comes by to see how the interview went, but finds Danny in his robe and pajamas. He decided he didn't need to go to the interview after Justin apologized and told him he was "an amazing, inspiring person, like a male Oprah." Before Leslie puts Justin in another chokehold, Justin tells her he's called up the Detroit Weekly guy and offered him free drinks and a date with Leslie to meet Danny at the bar for a re-do interview. Leslie's appalled but gets on board as soon as she sees how hot he is. The only thing is, Danny doesn't know he's going on an interview. But Justin figures that interviews are just an excuse to brag about yourself and Danny does that on a near-professional level. The interview is going really well... until Danny figures out it's an interview. He flips out at Justin for tricking him, but after one of Justin's rambling stories about his sad childhood, Danny agrees to finish the interview - and he gets the job!