The Mysteries of Laura Episode 1.18 The Mystery of the Sunken Sailor

At the grocery store, Laura's in line behind a man buying enough food and drink to keep a party going all night long. Just as he's about to pay, Laura grabs his credit card - a credit card that just so happens to have the name Laura Diamond on it. What a coincidence... or not. Laura just busted the guy who's been running around New York City with her identity! Two officers cuff fake Laura Diamond and take him away. Her business concluded, Laura leaves... but not without grabbing some donuts. She's still chowing by the time she reaches Reynaldo's office, where Billy examines their newest murder victim: Petty Officer Second Class Greg Hampson, who probably was in town for Fleet Week. He was shot point blank in the chest, which is now stained with blood and lily flower residue. According to the seaman's ID, he's stationed on the USS Sherwood, docked at Pier 92. Looks like the detectives have a starting point.

Meanwhile, Frankie's getting on Max's last nerve. She's always so quirky and perky - which is Max's thing! He's not so sure there's enough room for the both of them at the 2nd Precinct. When Frankie asks his advice on throwing Laura a birthday party, Max's eyebrow arches. He knows Laura hates birthdays and everything associated with them, so obviously throwing a party is not a good idea. But wait - this could be an excellent opportunity for Max to sabotage Frankie. On second thought, Max thinks a party is the perfect plan! Better yet, it should be a surprise... and everything should be pink! Naïve and always eager to please, Frankie goes with it.

Billy and Laura step aboard the USS Sherwood, and Laura's already feeling a bit seasick, even though the ship isn't moving. Special Agent Jennifer Barrington and Lieutenant Commander Simonds give the detectives a not-so-warm welcome, explaining police detectives will need approval from Captain Meeks to continue their investigation, and the Captain is a very busy man. In other words, leave. Refusing to be "dock-blocked," Laura sets her plan in motion: she'll sneak away, claiming she has to go to the bathroom because she's about to "blow chunks" (which she actually might), and find Hampson's cabin to search it. Meanwhile, Billy, aka Prince Charming, will use his man magic to distract Agent Barrington. Laura slices the seal on Hampson's door and lets herself in. At first she doesn't find anything except a flier for free drinks at a Fleet Week Bar, but after more probing, she discovers some bloody rags shoved in Hampson's drawer. Just as she slips the evidence into her bag and is about to leave, two stone-faced masters-at-arms barge in and escort her to the Captain. Well, at least now she'll be able to question him. In the middle of an important ceremony, Captain Meeks tries to brush her off, insisting the Navy has the investigation under control. Intimidated by no one, Laura tells him that whether he likes it or not, this is now a joint investigation - Navy and NYPD.

After Reynaldo runs some tests, it's determined that the blood on the rag found in Hampson's quarters wasn't from a human, but a shark. Laura realizes Hampson must have been smuggling shark fin - a prized Asian aphrodisiac, which brings big money on the black market. If Hampson was smuggling, chances are he had accomplices, and falling out with any one of those accomplices could be a motive for murder. Now if only they knew where to find a bunch of soldiers during Fleet Week... Always one step ahead of the game, Laura pulls out the flier she found in Hampson's cabin: Landmark Bar is where the seamen will be. Jake sends Frankie and Meredith to the bar full of drunken sailors. One of them tells the detectives that Hampson's bunkmate, Wilber, was always bitching about Hampson being a "boy scout." He points them toward Chinatown, where Wilber is making a supply run for tiger penis powder - it's like herbal Viagra. A place that sells tiger penis powder would probably sell shark fin as well...

Pretending to be a married couple with some bedroom issues, Laura and Billy head to the Chinese medicine shop and ask the proprietor for his best remedy, something more powerful than tiger penis... like shark fin, perhaps. It takes a little bit of financial bribery, but the shop owner eventually takes them to the back room, where the detectives find Wilber. As soon as he sees Laura's badge, Wilber shoves her into some boxes and darts out. Billy chases him until the soldier is finally cornered and has nowhere else to run. Suddenly a female voice orders Wilber to freeze, and Billy turns around to see Agent Barrington right on his tail. Where'd she come from?

With tensions high, Agent Barrington accompanies Billy back to the precinct, where she tells him she knew Wilber was smuggling shark fin; Hampson was her informant, helping her gather intel on Wilber's operation. Billy's infuriated - when was she planning on telling him his murder victim was part of her ongoing investigation? Jake breaks it up and orders Billy and Barrington to work together from now on... no negotiations. The reluctant new partners proceed to interrogate Wilber, who has an alibi for the time of Hampson's murder. Wilber also tells them about Hampson's online girlfriend, whom he was supposed to meet face-to-face for the first time last night. Barrington pulls up Hampson's emails; the girlfriend's name is Nancy, and according to her profile picture, she's an attractive blonde in her 20s. She begins reading Nancy's most recent email - "I walked home past the stately elm trees in the park, waiting for them to bloom, like our love" - but gives up quickly and reports back to the ship. She doesn't have time for this pseudo-romantic mush. Eager to outsmart Miss Special Agent, Laura gives the email a second glance - elm trees, sandalwood scent and a nearby Ukrainian diner... According to Laura's mental GPS, Nancy is in Tompkins Square Park, next to Veselka, a Ukrainian diner with the best pierogies in town. Wow, Laura's good.

Frankie and Meredith arrive at Laura's pinpointed location, which is a dingy apartment building with wires hanging on the wall. They scan the mailboxes - N. Santamaria in 1C. Hopefully N stands for Nancy. The detectives knock on the door, but there's no answer. A friendly neighbor, Duane, tells them Nancy is probably on her computer with her headphones on - she rarely leaves her apartment, except when her cable goes out and she watches her shows from Duane's couch. Meredith tries knocking once more. The door opens, and a mousy woman in her 40s peeps her head out - "Yes?" This is Nancy Santamaria? This Nancy looks nothing like online Nancy. Frankie asks about the bikini profile photo and Greg Hampson, but Nancy offers no help and tries to shut her door. But before she can, Frankie smells a very distinct scent: sandalwood incense. Nancy slams the door in their faces and is scrambling to erase her hard drive, when Meredith kicks down the door and arrests her.

At the precinct, Nancy nervously awaits her interrogation while Max digs deeper into her phone records. It turns out Greg Hampson wasn't Nancy's one and only; in total, Nancy has seven boyfriends. She's a catfishing pro! She sends each suitor emails and texts, except for the one in prison, to whom she sends letters. Nancy also explains the risqué, fake profile picture: men only want to talk to her when she looks like a bombshell. She wanted to keep all of her relationships behind a screen, but when Hampson suggested meeting in person when he was in New York, she decided to stop hiding and give it a try. She waited for him at the coffee shop for five hours, but he never showed. She figured he saw what she really looked like through the window and left. Her story checks out - a manager and waitress confirm Nancy was in the coffee shop until 2 a.m. eating pecan pie. Saddest alibi ever. Now the detectives have to check out all the other boyfriends... It's going to be a long night. Fortunately, Frankie has a new lead: Zeke Selkey, Nancy's convict boyfriend, was released to a halfway house in Queens three weeks ago. Zeke and Nancy sent snail mail letters, which means he knows Nancy's address. He could have been scoping, saw Hampson arrive at Nancy's place and shot him. It's a lot to assume, but it's their best theory right now. Jake sends Meredith and Frankie to the halfway house to gather intel on Zeke, while Billy and Agent Barrington stake out Nancy's apartment in case Zeke heads there.

Billy and Agent Barrington sit in Billy's car casually chatting, looking more like they're on a date than a stakeout. Suddenly Billy gets a call from Meredith: Zeke signed out of his halfway house hours ago and he isn't answering his phone... He could be coming for Nancy. Moments later, Meredith calls back with a description of Zeke - which would have been helpful, if they hadn't pulled up Zeke's mug shot hours ago... Is Meredith checking up on Billy while he's with Agent Barrington? No, Billy insists, Meredith is very professional, they're just good friends. Billy's phone rings for a third time, but this time it's Laura. She tells him to come back to the precinct, and bring Nancy with him. Zeke was found with a bullet in his head in the same park where Hampson was found. Their only connection was their girlfriend, which makes Nancy a suspect once again. Frankie and Meredith are harsh on Nancy during her second interrogation, and Nancy crumbles under their scrutiny - "I want to go home, I want to go home," she cries as she tugs on her hair. Realizing something is a little off, Frankie asks Nancy if she's on any medication. She is, prescribed by Elizabeth Carlin, clinical psychiatrist. It's already very late, so the detectives will have to talk to her tomorrow. Jake tells Billy and Barrington to clock out, and ever the gentleman, Billy offers a ride to Agent Barrington... who is just Jennifer when she's off duty. Billy walks her all the way to her cabin, she gives him some documents related to the case, and when they finally can't resist each other anymore... clothes start flying and hands start grabbing. Billy's shacking up on the ship tonight.

In the morning, Frankie and Meredith meet with Dr. Carlin, who can't give the detectives any of her official medical records, because all of her files were stolen during a recent break-in. But the doctor does tell them about Nancy's recently developed deep-seated paranoia - she feels like she's being watched. Dr. Carlin says Nancy spent most of her time in therapy talking about her obsession with The Voice. Her cable always seemed to go out right before the show started, causing her to panic. Nancy had to watch the show at her neighbor's... Duane! He told the detectives he let Nancy watch TV at his place when her cable went out, and there were wires hanging all over the walls next to Nancy's apartment. Duane could easily have cut the cable wire and reconnected it later. It sounds just like the break-in at Dr. Carlin's office, where the perp cut the alarm, then connected it again when they left. If Duane has all of Dr. Carlin's files, he knows all about Nancy's boyfriends. It turns out Duane has two arrests for stalking and one for assault, and multiple restraining orders. Maybe the friendly neighbor isn't so friendly at all...

The team breaks down Duane's door and sweeps his apartment, where Meredith finds Dr. Carlin's stolen files. They have Duane for burglary, but they still need proof of murder. When they hack into Duane's computer, a view of Nancy's apartment lights up the screen - Duane's hooked up to Nancy's Wifi, and he's using her desktop cam to spy on her! He even has a cloned email account and can send messages to and from Nancy's account without her knowing. Crazy Nancy isn't so paranoid after all... Duane's been writing her boyfriends, pretending to be her, setting up dates and then killing the poor guys. The detectives try to turn the tables on Duane, emailing him as Nancy - "Duane, my venture into the Internet for love has forsaken me. I now see that the universe has brought us together. It's you who feeds my heart with passion. Can we rendezvous?" Moments later, Duane responds, "Meet me at my favorite old dive. Calligan's." The cops are going catfishing.

Duane walks straight into the trap. Laura, as the bartender, pours him a drink while the rest of the 2nd Precinct blends in. Duane tells Laura he's waiting for Nancy, and Laura, setting him up, breaks the bad news: Nancy had to leave to meet a guy named Zeke. "Yeah, that's not happening," Duane scoffs. Duane says Nancy told him Zeke was shot in the head. Except Nancy's been in custody since last night, and the only way he would have known that is if he was there when it happened. When Laura flashes her badge, Duane tries to run, but he's got five guns pointed at his head. Busted.

After bringing Duane down to the precinct, Billy asks Agent Barrington out to dinner. She declines; her ship is sailing out tonight. She leaves him with a kiss and walks away... Looks like the playa just got played. The team rushes to Laura's house to set up for her surprise party, and no one's more excited than Max. He can't wait to see Laura rip Frankie to shreds for this. Laura walks into her house, flips on the light and - surprise! Laura's house is pink! She smiles and hugs Frankie, thanking her for the party. Max is so confused - why is Laura happy about celebrating her birthday? This is so out of character. Laura calls out Max for trying to undermine Frankie's plan and assures him that he'll always be her "perky, sunny, odd number one." Laura finds herself having a great time until... here come those chunks again! She's been feeling nauseous all week, why can't she shake the seasickness? "You musta been a wreck when you were pregnant," Frankie laughs. Suddenly Laura looks terrified. Uh oh...