Earl decides it's high time to cross #213 off his list - never let Randy have anything better than Earl. For their whole lives, any time the brothers got anything, Earl always took the better thing for himself. So for Randy's birthday present, Earl bought a Ranchero that's much better than his.
Earl parks the Ranchero outside the Crab Shack, but when he returns with Randy the car is gone. Earl is surprised because in Camden County there's a rule: crooks don't steal from other crooks. Earl consults Joy as to who might have stolen the car, and she comes up with two names, Clyde Fowler and his little buddy, Bed Bug.
Earl finds the Ranchero at Clyde's, but Clyde refuses to give it back since Earl really isn't a criminal anymore. Earl can buy it back for $1,500. Furious, Earl brings the matter before the oldest, meanest and most respected criminal in Camden, Mr. Wallace, who moonlights as a crossing guard. Sadly, Mr. Wallace sides with Clyde.
Earl relents and buys the Ranchero back, only to have it stolen again. Earl figures that if the criminals are going to treat him like a civilian, he's going to act like one and go to the police. Horrified, Joy reminds him that he can't snitch, because a snitch is the lowest form of human there is.
Confused, Earl walks for hours trying to sort out his feelings. Ultimately, he decides that Randy deserves the car more than anything, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to get it back. Earl tells Officer Hoyne that Clyde and Bed Bug stole the Ranchero, winning him the chance to pick a snitch prize from Hoyne's goody drawer.
Earl tries to cheer himself up; at least he and Hoyne are the only two people who know he's a snitch. But when Earl's hotel room gets trashed, it's obvious that the cat's out of the bag. Accusing Hoyne of being a terrible cop, Earl drags him to Clyde's, but the Ranchero's not there. Clyde and Bed Bug laugh at Earl, so he decides that the way to get even is to steal their lowrider and barter it for the Ranchero.
Earl tries to find someone to help him steal the lowrider, but all the criminals in town deride him as a snitch. Earl turns to Randy for help, but Randy has eaten the peanut butter crackers laced with sleeping pills that were meant for Clyde's dog. Earl decides to hotwire the lowrider himself, only to learn that it's not just like riding a bike.
Unable to steal the lowrider, Earl decides to steal Clyde's dog; Hoyne catches him red-handed. Back at the station, Hoyne offers to let Earl off the hook if he snitches, trying to tempt Earl with a prize from the goody drawer. Realizing that all the crooks in town have prizes from the goody drawer and are therefore snitches, Earl gets an idea.
After Earl snitches, the snitchy snowball rolls down the hill, as the crooks all snitch on each other. Earl waits outside the police station to inform each crook that he knows they're snitches. When Mr. Wallace emerges, Earl finally makes a deal to get Randy's Ranchero back.