Phil (Ty Burrell) and Claire (Julie Bowen) have been married 16 years. They have three kids: Teen Haley (Sarah Hyland), middle child Alex (Ariel Winter) and young son Luke (Nolan Gould). Phil is the self-proclaimed "cool dad" who knows all the dance moves to High School Musical. We're all in this together, right, Phil? The guy's also a problem-solver. When Luke shoots sis Alex with a BB gun, the punishment must fit the crime. Phil blocks out time during his jam-packed day to shoot Luke, too. We love a dad who is never too busy to maim his kids.
Claire doesn't want her children to make the same mistakes she did during her wild youth. Haley has her a bit on edge when she invites over Dylan, a boy from her school. We get Claire's concern. After all, Dylan's a senior! Precocious Alex doesn't help matters by asking, "If Haley got pregnant, would you ever pretend she got mono for a few months and then tell everyone the baby's yours?" It's a solid question and enough to send Claire flying into Haley's room, embarrassing her in front of Dylan. When Haley turns to dad for help, Phil accidentally shoots Dylan with Luke's BB gun. It's not exactly a shotgun wedding, but it is total a "laugh out loud" moment.
Jay (Ed O'Neill) is just south of middle age and married for six months to the beautiful, much younger, Gloria (Sofia Vergara). Gloria hails from a lovely village in Colombia, which also happens to be the murder capital of that fine country. We can see that Jay's pretty set in his ways, which means he doesn't always mesh with the fiery Gloria or her gushy son Manny (Rico Rodriguez). When another mom criticizes Manny during a soccer game, Gloria goes off on her. This draws the attention of a single dad, who hits on Gloria and mistakes Jay for her father. It's pretty funny watching Jay struggle to get his aging rump out of his beach chair to set the guy straight.
Manny has fallen for a much older woman, a 16-year-old girl who works at the mall. (Like mother, like son, right?) Gloria encourages her passionate boy to go for it. Jay...not so much. He says, "If you put on a puffy white shirt and declare your love for a 16-year-old, you're gonna be swinging from the flagpole in your puffy white underpants." Undaunted, Manny makes his move and is rejected. Jay also feels the sting of humiliation when a security guard mistakes him for an elderly mall-walker. Good thing he was standing next to a hip clothing store at the time. Wait 'til you see Jay's spanking new multicolored coat and bejeweled hat. Love it!
Mitchell (Jesse Tyler Ferguson) and Cameron (Eric Stonestreet) have been together for five years and have just adopted a baby girl from Vietnam named Lily. They are extremely happy about the newest addition to their family even though others may have a problem with two gay men raising a child. When a woman remarks about Lily being seen with a couple of "cream puffs," Mitchell rattles off a standard speech he has for all those judgmental, small-minded people who question their ways. Turns out baby Lily was actually holding some light pastries with cream filling, aka cream puffs. Oops. Time to swallow his pride. And some cream puffs.
Mitchell never told his family they were adopting. It seems his dad isn't completely comfortable with his son being gay. He's surprised that Cameron understands his reluctance to have a big, emotional scene. That doesn't last long, as Cameron informs Mitchell that his family is coming over that night. Ding dong. Someone's at the door! Mitchell's sister, Claire, and her family are the first to arrive. Their dad, Jay, is right behind them with his new family. Yes, everyone we've met so far is somehow related. Small world, big twist, right?
Mitchell tries to ease into the subject of his adoption plan. The news is met with varied responses until Cameron makes a dramatic, Lion King-esque entrance with baby Lily. Being perfectly honest, we missed some of what was said during this scene, because we were all laughing so hard. Any issue with Mitchell and Cameron being parents flies out the window once everyone meets Lily. Even Jay can't wait to get a closer look at the little cutie. As part of a closing voiceover from Jay, he says, "We're from different worlds, yet somehow we fit together." That sounds nice, right? Well...
We should mention that Modern Family has a documentary thing happening, where our new friends give us insight by talking directly to the camera. It seems Jay's touching voiceover line was actually something Manny wrote in his love poem to that 16-year-old girl. Jay was actually mocking him (lovingly, of course). What we're trying to say is that we instantly went from feeling all warm and fuzzy to laughing hysterically. That seems to be the M.O. for this show. Seems like Modern Family has the makings of a modern classic.