Episode PremiereSeptember 30, 2009
Show Period2009 - 2010
Production CompanyUniversal Media Studios, Berman Braun
Veronica and Mike are attempting a quickie before work in the narrow twin bed of her childhood room when Jim and Jeannie burst in. Jeannie's doing a load of darks, does the happy couple need any clean laundry? They don't, but Veronica's brother Tim does, and he takes off his pants on the spot. After kicking her family out, Veronica remarks that there's not enough Paxil in the world to make living with her parents okay. Mike wants Veronica to move back into their house, even if it's totally pulled apart for renovation. It will be romantic, kinda like camping...
At the roach coach outside the hospital, Sonia complains that Nick never called her after their night of passion. He needs to call her so she can break up with him already. And how is Veronica going to handle working with Sands? Veronica claims it's all going to be fine, she just has to play it cool, like a secret agent. Sonia scoffs as Chloe interrupts their conversation to ask if the patient who sat on a plunger did it on purpose.
Dr. Parks checks in with Sands -- how's he adjusting to his move from California to New Jersey? Sands must miss happiness. Sands admits he misses surfing. Parks is a bowler, and doesn't understand surfing, Where do you put your beer? Stopping at the nurses' station, Parks asks the ultimate dumb question: did Sands and Veronica know each other in Iraq? Throwing her plan to play it cool to the wind, Veronica awkwardly jabbers on about Iraq, and no, they've never met. Sensing Veronica is about to have a stroke, Sonia pulls her out to check on a patient, Phil.
High as a kite thanks to his painkillers, Phil is hanging with his posse, crowing about the exploit that landed him in the hospital. He's done all kinds of damage to his leg, and isn't out of the woods yet. Sands leaves Phil with Veronica. When one of Phil's friends pinches Veronica's butt, she kicks the posse out. Phil whines for a sponge bath, so Veronica smiles, and calls for the biggest, scariest-looking nurses' aids she can find to oblige him.
Chloe attends to patient Conrad, who's been in a car accident, and is a great deal of pain. He asks Chloe to adjust his meds, and she promises to talk to the doctor. Unsatisfied, Conrad asks Chloe if she can find his bag, which contains his iPod. A night nurse hands over a Jane Doe case to Sonia. Jane was found passed out in a donut shop known for its hooker clientele. It looks like Jane has HIV and is on her last legs and no, the night nurse didn't clean her up, or call Social Services.
The nurses are lamenting the pitiful state of their softball team when Chloe shows up at the nurses' station. She played softball in high school and college and was going to try out for the Olympics. Angel is overjoyed -- their losing streak is over -- but Veronica and Sonia are piqued. Is My Little Pony a lesbian?
Chloe delivers Conrad's bag, and he rushes into the bathroom, just as Harris appears. Conrad is loaded up on Oxycontin, so no, he can't have more morphine because he's a drug addict. Chloe puts two and two together, as Harris yells to get Conrad out of the bathroom. When Chloe can't get the door open, two hulking orderlies pull Conrad out. Meanwhile, Veronica tries to make some headway with Phil, advising him that arrested development doesn't wear well after 30. When Phil complains that his foot is cold and passes out, Veronica yells for help.
Sands and Veronica are on hand when Phil wakes up. They had to rush him to surgery, and sadly there was no choice but to remove his leg, or he would have died. Phil freaks out. Angel asks Sonia to go to lunch. In the middle of cleaning up Jane Doe, Sonia notices her Eiffel Tower charm bracelet. Softening, she tells Angel to go without her. When the social worker has no luck determining Jane Doe's identity, Sonia calls the news, upset to learn that they're not interested. Surprised that Sonia is getting emotionally involved, Veronica reminds her there's no way Jane Doe's story will have a happy ending.
In their first stab at being friends, Sands and Veronica talk awkwardly about his adjustment to New Jersey. Veronica can't help flashing back to the hot sex they had in Iraq. Aware that Chloe is mad at him for taking advantage of her, Conrad insists he still deserves respect. He only started taking Oxycontin to manage a horrible and persistent ringing in his ear, which is driving him crazy. Chloe knows tinnitus is a side effect of Oxycontin -- but Conrad has heard it all. The tinnitus has caused him to lose his job as a Russian lit professor and steal his mother's TV to sell for drug money. Conrad begs Chloe to help.
The softball game is underway, and Veronica's brother Bobby is on the mound. Veronica's brother Ryan pesters Sonia about Nick, then turns his attention to his new crush Chloe, whom Mike has put in as pitcher. Sonia cools Ryan's fire, explaining that they're not sure what team Chloe is pitching for, nudge nudge. Chloe starts striking out the batters as Sands shows up on Chloe's invitation. Veronica wants Sands to stay for a few innings then fake an injury and leave. Her whole family is there, and it's just too weird; brother Bobby's already suspicious. When Mike grabs Veronica for a big victory kiss, Sands takes off.
It's nighttime, and Veronica is walking down a hallway in the hospital. She spies a backpack on the floor, and is just kneeling to open it when it explodes. Veronica wakes up to the alarm in the gutted house she's now sharing with Mike. The morning newspaper comes sailing through a wall that's no longer there, as Veronica surveys the bathroom, which consists of a leaky showerhead and some sheets of plastic. Mike tries to joke his way out if it, but Veronica insists that if she was a paying client, all the work would be done by now. Has Mike stopped trying since she agreed to come back? Disgusted, Veronica leaves to shower at the hospital.
A doctor informs Sonia that the end is near for Jane Doe; her lungs have started to shut down. At the end of her rope, Sonia calls Nick, claiming she's not making excuses, but needs a favor. Peeved, Sonia demands to know why Nick didn't call after their night together. Nick claims that Sonia said she would call, and he was respecting her. Whatever the case, Sonia wants to identify the dying Jane Doe, who has a Caesarian scar and must have a child. Nick promises to see what he can do.
Veronica tries to convince Phil to go to physical therapy, telling him stories about Iraq. Phil can't even look at his stump, and refuses Veronica's offer to look at it together. When Veronica persists, Phil gets angry. Nobody asked to take his leg, they just did it. Shoving a tray table in Veronica's direction, he yells that he just wants to be alone. Veronica gets an idea, and is just on her way to the basement, when Chloe shows up, asking for advice.
Veronica and Chloe proceed to the Bio-waste Room, where Veronica persuades Hector to help her look for Phil's leg. As they plow through the freezer, Chloe tells Veronica about Conrad. She wants Harris to run tests, but he'll refuse, claiming Conrad's a drug addict and Chloe's a dingbat. How far should Chloe go for her patient? Veronica reminds Chloe that it's her job to advocate for her patient, and if she thinks Conrad's sick, he probably is. She should use her feminine ways to convince Harris -- unless, of course, feminine isn't her cup of tea... Veronica finds Phil's leg and the women get back to work.
Nick finds Sonia in the nurses' lounge. Jane Doe is really Marion Green, and Nick has the address of her son David. And by they way, they can drop the charade at any time and get dinner. Sonia just wants to tell David that his mother is dying. Nick can't understand why Sonia is so invested, so she explains about the Eiffel Tower bracelet. Maybe Marion just hit a run of bad luck, maybe she stole the bracelet, but she is somebody. Sadly, David doesn't want to have anything to do with his mother, and is glad that she's dying.
Phil is gobsmacked when Veronica presents his leg. It's just skin and bone, it helped him, but it had to come off to save his life. Phil is going to be okay. Veronica rolls back the blanket so Phil can look at his stump for the first time. Explaining she prefers the term "nub," Veronica reminds Phil that his body still works, and there's some seriously bionic prosthetics nowadays. Phil wants to keep his leg, but he can't, so... now what are they going to do with it?
Conrad's tests for Meniere's Disease come back negative. Despite Chloe's pleas for more testing, Harris refuses, insisting she's an easy mark for unsavory characters. Desperate, Conrad follows them into the hall holding a scalpel to his ear, claiming he's going to cut it off if they don't help. Stunned, Harris and Chloe just stare at Conrad, who asks what's wrong with them and starts sawing away. Luckily, two giant orderlies are on hand to tackle Conrad to the ground.
Veronica wheels Phil to the incinerator, where they hold a little ceremony for his leg. Phil commends his leg for being a good leg, and apologizes for not taking care of it. Not wanting to feel phantom pain, Phil's ready to toss the leg in the incinerator, but Veronica reminds him that's illegal; this is just a symbolic gesture. Meanwhile, Conrad cries, handcuffed to his bed. On a whim, Chloe sticks her stethoscope up to his ear, and finally, she can hear the pounding noise that's driving him crazy, too!
Complementing Harris on his new shirt, Chloe pulls him into yet another consultation with Conrad, whose ear is hooked up to a fetal heart monitor. Finally a believer, Harris concludes that a blood vessel in Conrad's ear is about to rupture. Marion flatlines with Sonia in attendance. Sonia turns off the machines, and prepares Marion for the morgue. An orderly asks if she wants to remove the Eiffel Tower bracelet, but Sonia tells him to leave it on, then calls Nick to ask if he wants to get some dinner.
On the way out, Veronica notices Sands making a date to play chess with Harris. She teases Sands, but he's desperate and without friends in the suckhole of Newark, which he hates. Everyone's pale and angry. If he hates it so much, why doesn't he just leave? Sands tells Veronica that they're not friends. And he's not going to give up or try to sabotage her marriage or leave. Because he's pretty sure her marriage will fall apart all by itself, and when it does, he'll be waiting. Veronica yells after Sands, insisting that she's going to make her marriage work.
Exhausted and emotional, Veronica returns home, unable to face her wreck of a home. When she sees candles all over the place, she automatically assumes that Mike forgot to pay the electricity bill, but he's trying to be romantic. Mike leads Veronica to the bathroom, where he's installed a bathtub, which is filled with steamy water, complete with a glass of wine. Veronica gets in, smiles, and looks up through the hole that was once the ceiling to behold the starry night sky.