Episode PremiereJune 16, 2011
Show Period2011 - 2011
Production CompanyUniversal Media Studios, Working Title Television
Dan, a tattoo artist who works at Judd's shop, talks to a trucker who wants a tattoo that says "Keep on Truckin'." Thinking this is a little too on the nose, Dan offers alternatives. But the trucker wants something with the word "truck" in it. Dan won't let it go, so Judd intervenes, reminding Dan that the shop is called "Judd's Tattoos," not "Dan's Opinions." However, Dan's attention is now focused on the very attractive Alex, who's walking down the street. Declaring Alex is the girl for him, Dan rushes off to catch up and offers to carry her groceries. When Alex mentions she's having a party at her gallery that night, Dan hints that he'd like to go, but no invitation is forthcoming.
Alex notices the daisies in the planter by the door of her gallery are dead. She knows the neighborhood dog who's responsible, but he's only got three legs; so if she says anything, she'll look like an a-hole. She muses that she should just get rid of the planter, then pulls a flower from her grocery bag and tucks it behind Dan's ear, leaving him with a dreamy smile. That night, Dan and Judd head to the party. When Judd asks if Alex really invited them, Dan claims she put out the "vibe." The party is kinda wild and made up mostly of women, many of whom are wearing bikini tops. Across the room, Alex is surrounded by a group of friends. Suddenly, she pulls off her top and tells her friends to take pictures. Dan and Judd stare in admiration, letting their confusion fall by the wayside.
Dan goes to the bar while Judd checks out the buffet, which is loaded with boob-themed food. When Colleen calls, Judd tells her about the party, how there are topless photos and all the food looks like breasts. Colleen thinks it sounds like a party they attended for her cousin - who had a mastectomy. That's when Judd spots a sign that reads: "Goodbye Boob! It's been fun!" Realizing he shouldn't be at this party, Judd hangs up to go find Dan, who's sure to put his foot in it. Meanwhile, Dan tells Alex that he loves the party's theme - is someone getting a boob job? The conversation gets awkward when Alex reveals she's having a mastectomy. That's when Judd approaches and tries to lighten the mood, but he's too late. Alex graciously encourages them to enjoy themselves and steps away.
Dan wants to leave, but Judd thinks if he leaves now, he'll look like an even bigger douche. Judd suggests they stay for half an hour, then leave. Ten minutes later, Dan sneaks out the back, bumping smack into Alex. She claims to understand why he wants to bolt. Under different circumstances, he probably would've gotten laid tonight. She asks Dan to "go to second" with her, making him the last guy to feel the "real" her. When Dan remarks that it's such a shame because Alex's breasts are so good, she breaks down in tears. Trying to say something reassuring, the best Dan can come up with is that in hard times he likes to say "Keep on Truckin'." Incredulous, Alex walks away.
The next day, Dan tells Judd that he really screwed up. Judd thinks "Keep on Truckin'" is almost as bad as "A friend with weed is a friend indeed." When Dan muses over helping Alex through hard times, Judd points out that she probably already has people. Dan knows he's not the kind of guy people come to for "life stuff," but he really likes Alex. So over the next few weeks, he keeps his eye on her gallery, which is closed for business. He replaces the dead flowers in the planter, then chases off the flower-eating three-legged dog. When the flowers die, he paints daisies on the planter. Then one day, the gallery is open, and Dan's thrilled to see Alex. He apologizes for what happened at the party and offers to help her out, or even take her out. Alex tells Dan that she's got a lot going on, and it's really not "his trip." Dan leaves, feeling emotional.
Dan stands outside the gallery thinking for a moment, then rushes back inside to declare he's not just Dan! He's a guy with a medical marijuana card, and a friend with weed is a friend indeed! He's somebody Alex can lean on, and though he may not understand what she's going through, he wants to try. Dan grabs a pair of scissors off the counter, saying he can do this with her, then cuts off his ponytail. It's only when Alex explains that she's not doing chemo that Dan realizes she isn't going to lose her hair. So why did she let him cut off his ponytail?! Alex remarks that he's a 30-year-old guy with a ponytail - at least one good thing should come from cancer.
Ricky lies in bed with his latest conquest, who's sleeping. He extricates himself, sneaks over to her cell phone, finds his number, and deletes it. The next day, Ricky hangs out with his brother Andy, friends Kev and Seth and their kids at the playground. He tells the guys about his technique, which he dubs the "Ninja Vanish." He always leaves a note, so he doesn't come off like an a-hole, and the women come away thinking Ricky's great and technology sucks. The Ninja Vanish is like a condom: Ricky has a great time without fear of contracting a relationship. The guys declare the Ninja Vanish genius and award Ricky the "Nobel Piece of Ass Prize." Leaving his buddies full of envy, Ricky heads out to find his next conquest.
That night, Ricky searches a hotel room where another beautiful woman lies sleeping. The phone flies out of his hands and lands with a clatter, waking up the woman, Angie. Angie tells Ricky not to leave, so he gets back into bed and lies awake and uncomfortable. The next morning while eating breakfast in the room, Ricky's preoccupied with trying to delete his number off Angie's phone. She gives him a note with her phone number. It has a heart over the "i" and a lipstick kiss, which makes Ricky nervous, but he finally distracts her long enough to grab her phone.
Later, Ricky relays the story to his buddies in the park. They tease Ricky and tell him that maybe he shouldn't have ninja'd Angie because now he can't see her again - and he seems to want to. Ricky assures them he doesn't want to see her again, pulling out her note to tear it up - but it's blank! Ricky can't believe it. It's the same paper because it's got the lipstick kiss on it, but her number is gone! The guys think Ricky has met his match. Ricky knows that she has a pug named Cinco. Declaring nobody vanishes him, Ricky heads over to a nearby dog park in hopes of finding Angie.
It's not long before Rickie spots Angie at the dog park and confronts her. Angie confesses that she "Houdini'd" him. She uses pens with ink that vanishes when heated to write down her number; the writing reappears when cooled. Angie figured out she didn't want to go out with Ricky again, so she spilled water on him. Blow-drying his pants made the ink vanish. Impressed, Ricky tells Angie about the Ninja Vanish, then asks her out on a second date. She launches into a diatribe about guys who mean what they say or don't say what they mean. Ricky insists that he's different; even when stealing her phone, he was thinking that Angie was special. Angie thinks Ricky's probably met a lot of special girls, he's just never stayed around long enough to find out. And with that, she walks away, leaving Rick rejected.
Annie makes her way around the kitchen of the restaurant bumping into things with her giant belly. Her co-workers make fun of her, so she's feeling sorry for herself when her sister Chloe calls to announce she's set Annie up on a blind date. The guy's name is Matt and he's amazing. The next evening, Jodi and Luis help a pouty Annie get ready for her blind date. They tell her she looks gorgeous. Then Luis says Annie needs one more thing - cutlets. Luis and Jodie stuff them in Annie's bra.
At the restaurant, Annie spies a handsome guy at the bar and makes her way over to him, hoping he's Matt. The guy says his name is Matt and the flirting begins. When Matt leans in, Annie pulls back, saying he's moving too fast, then realizes he was reaching for a cutlet that was poking out of her dress. Mortified, Annie stuffs it back in. When Matt asks who she is, Annie realizes she's got the wrong Matt. When she angrily asks why he didn't say anything, Matt admits he wanted to see where this was going, since he's never been hit on by a pregnant woman before. Trying not to laugh, he points to her chest - the other cutlet is emerging. Flustered, Annie shoves it back in just as her blind date arrives and excuses herself for dinner with "Better Matt."
Better Matt fawns all over Annie, reaching out and asking if he can touch her belly. She says maybe after they order, and as soon as the waiter takes their menus, Better Matt tries again, then starts asking creepy questions. When Annie jumps up to go to the bathroom, he grabs her belly, so she tries to escape out the back door. But the door's blocked by a dumpster, and she can't get out. The first Matt just happens to be checking his cell phone and asks how things are going. Annie reports that Better Matt's a freak. She asks Matt to move the dumpster, but it won't budge, so she gives up and returns to the table. A minute after she sits down, the bartender tells Annie she has a phone call. It's Matt, who's holding her wrap by the door, explaining there's more than one way to leave the restaurant.
Annie walks down the street, eating a giant pretzel and shivering. Matt takes off his jacket and puts it around her shoulders, gently suggesting she might wait until after the baby's born to jump back into the dating world. Annie agrees, but everyone said she should go out, have fun, feel sexy again. She knew being a surrogate would be hard, but she didn't know it would be this hard because she feels so alone. Matt tells Annie she's doing an amazing thing for her sister. Once again, he leans in toward Annie - but this time, she kisses him. Then she realizes that Matt was reaching for the cutlet that, once again, had popped out of her dress. They're both embarrassed. The awkwardness is broken by Matt's cell ringing. It's the girl he was supposed to meet. Annie tells him to go and returns his jacket.
The next day, Jodi and Luis want to know about Annie's date with Matt, as the trucker from the tattoo parlor delivers crates of lettuce to the restaurant. He whistles at Annie, which she appreciates and encourages him to do for all pregnant women, saying they need the objectification. Annie notices the trucker's new "Keep on Truckin'" tattoo. He says it's his motto. That's when Chloe calls with terrible news - Matt wants to see Annie again! Back in Venice, California, Alex sits in Judd's tattoo parlor looking at tattoo designs with Dan and Judd. She decides to go with just daisies.
Ricky's walking down the street, when a woman, Megan, stops him. She explains they went out a month ago and her "stupid phone" deleted his number. She suggests that they get together sometime. Ricky agrees that it's a good idea, and offers to exchange numbers so there are no disappearing acts.