Episode PremiereJanuary 24, 2011
Show Period2004 - 2012
Production CompanyHeel and Toe, Shore Z, Bad Hat Harry
Cast and Crew
- Hugh Laurie as Dr. Gregory House
- Lisa Edelstein as Dr. Lisa Cuddy
- Omar Epps as Dr. Eric Foreman
- Robert Sean Leonard as Dr. James Wilson
- Jennifer Morrison as Dr. Allison Cameron
- Jesse Spencer as Dr. Robert Chase
- Olivia Wilde as Dr. Remy Hadley / Thirteen
- Peter Jacobson as Dr. Chris Taub
- Kal Penn as Dr. Lawrence Kutner
- Odette Yustman as Dr. Jessica Adams
- Odette Annable
- Charlyne Yi
- Sasha Roiz
- Amber Tamblyn as Martha M. Masters
- Kayla Colbert
- Rylie Colbert
- Nigel Gibbs
A group of teenage boys are running an obstacle course in the rain at the Challenge Training Camp, a program for juvenile offenders. But one boy, Landon, is struggling to keep up, even as the drill instructor screams at him. "I just feel lousy, I can't!" he tells Driscoll, the instructor. " 'Can't' doesn't exist here! You finish this course, or you're in isolation the rest of the day - you hear me?!" Driscoll screams back. He pushes Landon to dive under ropes and crawl in the mud, pull himself across a horizontal ladder and run through tires. But he falls and hits his head when trying to climb the final wall. "Sir, I'm bleeding, sir!" Landon tells Driscoll. He doesn't care. "Get your ass over that - " but suddenly Driscoll doubles over in pain and screams. "My back hurts! I can't move! Help me, I can't get up!" Landon gets up slowly and tells him " 'Can't' doesn't exist here," and walks away, leaving Driscoll writhing in agony in the mud.
"We should not be looking at this." Masters, Taub, and Foreman are looking at a picture of Chase on the computer in House's office. A picture of a naked Chase, stepping out of a shower. "He sent out an alert," Taub says, "it would be rude not to look. Though I am straining my eyes." When Chase comes in he's mortified at the image that's on his own profile page: "Whoever did this made it smaller! Much, much smaller." He offers to prove it to the team right then and there, but they decline. Chase doesn't even know where the picture is from, but Taub spots a towel in the shot with the logo of the Carlton Hotel - where they all were recently for a wedding. "That must narrow it down," Masters says. But Foreman tells her Chase slept with three women that night. "Oh," she turns to Chase, "you're a whore." It'll have to wait, as House enters with a case.
"38-year-old former Marine. Came into the ER with back pain, now his bladder aches as much as his back because he can't empty it." The ER has already ruled out prostate, colon, and spinal problems.
"Military history," Masters begins, "suspiciously good shape for his age, makes a living bullying kids. I'm thinking . . . steroids?" House is fascinated, not because he thinks steroid use makes sense (it doesn't, with no other sign of hormonal imbalance), but because Masters equates discipline with bullying. "Which means your parents either disciplined you too much or too little. I'm guessing too little," he tells her. Masters points out that House runs the team like a mini-boot camp, as if cruelty ensures performance. But, of course, that's exactly what he thinks.
Chase says they need to determine the cause for Driscoll's urinary retention. A blockage in the urethra versus a nerve or a muscle problem with the bladder. House wants the team to catheterize him and see what's going on. He gets up to leave and then looks back, "Oh, not you, Chase. Sending Captain Micropenis to deal with his probably normal-sized equipment - it's too cruel even for me."
House is in the cafeteria with Cuddy and Rachel, who's there for a vaccination. "Waldenwood insists vaccination reports go in with the application," she tells him. "Waldenwood - is that by any chance a boarding school? A work camp?" he asks. Nope, just Cuddy's first-choice for preschool. "Blocks made of gold, kids don't have to pick their own noses . . ." House wonders. Cuddy says that it's actually a great school, known especially for their gifted program. House's eyes widen.
"You sure that's - the right place for her?" House asks. Then quickly adds, "Sounds a little snobby." Cuddy insists it's a perfect fit, as Rachel flips over her oatmeal bowl.
Foreman is catheterizing Driscoll, a painful process. "Sorry," Foreman says, "Can't make you feel better 'til we make you feel worse." But Driscoll understands: "I get it. Goes for what I do, too." Masters disapprovingly says that they cause pain when it's the only option. "You know," he tells her, "the kids I work with at the camp are there because a judge sent them there. I can't teach them good behaviors without getting rid of all their bad ones. That's not going to happen unless I push them." Masters is unconvinced. "It beats the alternative," he continues, "which is ending up in jail or in a gang or a coffin." He says two-thirds of the kids never re-offend. "It's better numbers than juvie." Now Masters doesn't quite know what to say. Foreman tells Driscoll that she's brilliant but new to the real world.
Masters and Taub are in the lab with Driscoll's urine when Chase walks in. "Half hour on the phone. No go. The Web site won't take down the picture," he says. Taub says he thought they didn't allow nude photos. "They don't," Chase says, and pulls up the image on the lab's computer. "Technically, I'm no longer nude." And sure enough, there's a picture of a naked Chase with a teeny tiny black bar between his legs. And he can't even close his account: whoever hacked in and posted the picture also changed his password. Masters says that should narrow it down - it must be someone with some serious tech skills. "My password was 'password,' " Chase says, head in hand. "You're a dumb whore," Masters says. Taub asks if one of the three maybe seemed clingier than the others? But Chase can't even remember their names. "Listen," Taub says. "This is a tough time for me. Breaking up with Rachel, moving into a hotel. I want you to know how much your humiliation has eased my burden."
The team meets up again in the hallway. Taub says the urine was clean for bacteria. "Not surprising," Foreman says, "since the bladder tests show his pain problem is really a nerve problem: neurogenic bladder. Chase says that could mean a spinal cord tumor or cerebral palsy. But Foreman knows that House will go for another possibility right away: syphilis. "Rare complication of an embarrassing illness," Taub says. "Practically a House special." To get ahead of the game, Foreman wants to test the man for syphilis.
Foreman and Masters prep the instructor for his blood draw, when suddenly he reaches out, leaps out of bed, and grabs Masters by the neck. "Stop it!" he screams, delusional. "Stop trying to kill me!" Foreman, with the aid of a security guard, is able to restrain him.
Back in House's office, Foreman tells House and the team that the patient is in restraints and on Haldol, and is lucid again. "Differential diagnosis: back pain, neurogenic bladder, psychosis," House says. To no one's surprise, House suggests tertiary syphilis, but Foreman tells him the test came back negative. Some meds could cause his symptoms, though: tricyclic antidepressants, Ritalin. Masters says that some plants could as well: wormwood, jimson weed. Chase points out that he probably would have mentioned any of those things, since he'd have to have taken a large amount. "Unless he didn't know about it," Masters says. "Maybe one of those kids at the camp got tired of Driscoll's lessons and poisoned him." House tells them to go to the camp and search for potential poisons.
Chase saddles up to the chairman of the hospital board in line in the cafeteria, casually mentioning a woman from the chairman's recent wedding that he really liked and would love to contact. "Thing is," Chase says. "I'm a bit fuzzy on names. Sorry - open bar. She was sitting at Dr. Simpson's table, brunette, purple dress, low-cut . . ."
"That's my niece!" the chairman happily tells Chase. "Winn Phillips."
"Your niece . . . fantastic," Chase says, trying to play it off. The chairman tells Chase he'll email her info to him.
"Also," Chase says, nervously, "there was a blonde, green dress . . ."
The chairman turns and looks him in the eye. "You want me to hook you up with two women?"
"Actually, three," Chase tells him.
House has a question for Wilson: "How do you cheat on a test, when there's no test?" But Wilson's not interested in playing and tells House to go away. "I am not going to give you advice, just so you can distort it to suit your own warped world view." "But it's been working so well," House tells him. House explains that Cuddy is trying to get Rachel into an exclusive school. "The problem is," he says, "Rachel is dumber than a paste sandwich." Wilson says that must mean he cares about Rachel, if he's concerned about her getting in. House claims he only cares because when Rachel gets rejected, Cuddy will be upset and he'll be expected to be supportive and consoling. "Not your strengths, I grant you," Wilson says. "Leave it alone. It's just a play date. It'll be fine." House is convinced that the "play date" is just code for weeding out the dumb kids. "They'll hand her puzzles and counting games, and Rachel will just sit there and eat the pieces . . ." but he trails off as he gets an idea and walks away.
Foreman and Masters are at the camp, and Masters is still criticizing their methods. "They're treating the symptoms instead of the disease. Basic systems theory: troubled kids are produce by troubled families. This place doesn't even attempt to change the environment that damaged them in the first place."
"So, there are no bad kids, only bad parents?" Foreman skeptically asks her. "Then why is my brother an ex-con?" "Treating kids decently doesn't mean identically," she says. "Some kids need more structure or discipline. Nobody needs this place." Foreman has an idea: "We find the poisoner, and let them point us toward the poison." But Driscoll has two dozen kids, are they going to interview all of them? "Maybe we don't need to," Foreman says.
They interview Landon, the boy who was there when Driscoll collapsed. He's mopping with another boy, MacDonald. "Driscoll sent me to Isolation all the time. Doesn't mean I poisoned him. He's the psycho, not me." He asks MacDonald to corroborate: "Yeah, Driscoll's way harder on him than the rest of us." Foreman wonders if maybe he's just a bigger pain in the ass than the other boys. Landon tells him he's in the camp for shoplifting. "Are you ready to upgrade to second-degree murder? Spend ten years in jail? If he dies because of whatever you gave him, that's what'll happen," Foreman tells him. Landon just laughs. "Is that supposed to scare me? My mom's dead, my dad's never been around, and after this I'll get bounced to another foster home. My future's not exactly bright. Prison now or later doesn't make that much of a difference to me." MacDonald interrupts to complain that Landon isn't helping to mop, and Foreman sees that MacDonald's eyes are red. MacDonald says it's just allergies. Masters asks if he takes anything for them, but MacDonald quickly glances over at Landon and says, "Not right now." Foreman knows what's up. "Why not?" he asks MacDonald, but the boy keeps mopping.
Back at the hospital, Foreman is hooking up an IV with fluids to flush the antihistamines out of Driscoll. He wants to know which kid poisoned him, but Masters says it's not medically relevant. "Look," he says. "I'm not going to hurt him, but I get why you're scared. I'm real sorry about this morning." She says that's not necessary, since he was ill and didn't know what he was doing. He tells her that he was a screw-up himself as a kid, but the military taught him to accept the consequences of his actions. "After all the times I've said that to the kids, apology is necessary." Then suddenly his heart starts racing and Foreman has to call for a crash cart.
In House's office, Foreman and the team tell House, via phone, that pushing the fluids actually sent his heart into overdrive. They had to give him three doses of adenosine to get it under control. "Treating him for antihistamine toxicity revealed a new symptom - which revealed that he didn't have antihistamine toxicity in the first place," House says. Foreman wants to know where House is. "Play ground. Great place to meet chicks. Their moms, too." Taub says tachycardia could be a humoral effect, maybe it's mastocytosis? Masters says that they'd see other GI or cutaneous symptoms. Pancreatic insulinoma? Chase says that wouldn't cause bladder problems, unlike pheochromocytoma. Meanwhile, his phone keeps vibrating. "Well done, Chase, now turn off your phone," House says. How could he hear it when it was on vibrate? "I'm assuming it's been ringing nonstop since you changed your status update to: 'Nothing lights my fire like a lady of size. Less than three bills, don't bother calling.' Followed by your cell number." And the team cracks up while Chase just looks horrified. House orders adrenal and pituitary scans and a 24-hour urine collection.
The playground where House was calling from is at Waldenwood Preschool, where House has scammed a meeting by pretending that he's treating a child who became ill after an admission session in the playroom. He tells the teacher he needs to check for toxins, but as soon as he gets her out of the room, he starts taking pictures of everything: toys, blocks, games.
Foreman and Masters prep Driscoll's scan. When Foreman gets up to leave her alone with Driscoll, she protests that she's still a student and needs a supervisor. But it's a programmed test, she just needs to sit there and talk to him while he's undergoing the procedure. "Report me," he tells her, and walks away. She's never done this alone before, so it takes her a bit to gather her nerves and hit the intercom button to speak to Driscoll in the scan room: "How are you doing in there?" Driscoll says she doesn't need to protect Landon, because he knows Landon is the one who drugged him. Masters tells him that it turns out the antihistamines weren't what actually got him sick, but he says it doesn't change the fact that he did it. "I tried everything with that kid. I just . . . can't break through."
"It's clear you care about him," Masters says. "Have you tried telling him that?"
"You gotta understand something: these kids, they're all manipulators. As much as I care about all of them I can't show them that unless there's some mutual respect, otherwise . . ."
"Forget those other kids. Think about this kid. He watched his mother get sick and die. He's never known his dad. Who knows how long it's been since anyone's taken care of him, or if there's ever been a man around with any degree of consistency. I believe that you're on his side. I'm betting it would help if he did."
In House's office, Chase has attached a wall-sized version of his naked picture and corralled Taub in to see if he can help him find any more clues, since he was the one who spotted the hotel name. Chase now knows who each of the three women are, but he doesn't know which woman took the picture. "We could enhance the image," Taub says. "Maybe her face is reflected in that gleam off your butt cheek. Or maybe it's time to chalk this up to the hazards of being a player." Chase points out Taub's own "zipper problems" just blew up his marriage. Taub steps back to take some camera pics of Chase next to his picture, and studies the images. He says that while Chase may not have cheated on anyone, he didn't give any thought to how these women might feel, and he's obviously hurt someone. He shows Chase the pics he's been taking, which prove that the woman who took the picture was short, based on the angle of the photo.
House shows up early at Cuddy's and feigns surprise. "Oh, OK. Rachel and I will go play in her room," he says. In her room, he first opens the window and tips his cane out to reach a bag he's stashed in the bushes. He bought all the toys from the playroom at Waldenwood. "Rachel, Rachel," he calls to her, offering a new toy. But she's not interested. "What kind of kid doesn't like new toys? A moron, that's who." She's busy playing with her own blocks. He quickly knocks over her block set and sets up the ring game, with little colored pieces that fit on each ring. He's barely got the pieces out and she's already got one in her mouth. He sits back, frustrated.
Chase visits Winn, the woman he suspects. "Why are you here?" she asks. "Wait, did you give me an STD?" Chase protests that he didn't. "Don't deflect," he says. "That picture was taken by someone your height. Just take it down." But she says she doesn't know what he's talking about. He pulls out his camera to show her the image, and as they walk further into her apartment, he sees the living room looks like a child's room: it's a pink nightmare with pictures of kittens and stuffed animals. Regardless, she says she didn't take the picture. "Did you mean my height with heels, or without?" she asks. He says she wasn't wearing heels in the room, but she reminds him: "I started to take them off, and then you asked me very nicely not to." Chase admits that his forensic analysis needs work.
In House's office, Masters says that they checked Driscoll's adrenal, pituitary and thyroid glands, monitored his catecholamines - it's not a pheochromocytoma. Foreman tells House Driscoll's on a diltiazem drip to regulate his heart. Suddenly all the team's pagers go off - but it's not Driscoll, it's Landon, who was admitted with the same back pain and urinary retention that Driscoll had.
The put Landon and Driscoll in the same room, and Taub is asking them about common exposures. He's looking for things exclusive to the two of them, or else more people from the camp would be sick. Taub hardly gets started before they're bickering back and forth at each other.
The differential continues back in House's office, while he arranges toy horses, cows and pigs on the table. "There's got to be a link," Foreman says. "Diet, sexual history, drug abuse . . ." But Taub says he asked about all of that. A delivery man shows up at the office door with flowers, for Chase. "That's me," House says, getting up to sign for them. Masters says that since the camp is in the woods, there could be many opportunities for infection, and not everyone would get the same one: Legionellosis from water, toxoplasmosis from dirt or brucellosis from animals. Though House says none of those would explain Driscoll's symptoms. And it's more bad news for Chase: with the flowers is a note from the hospital chairman and his new wife thanking him for his "extraordinarily generous" donation to their wedding charity. Someone has access to his credit card. Of course, he can call the charity and report the donation as a fraud, but then he'd be taking back his gift to the chairman.
Foreman suggests Driscoll and Landon were bitten by ticks from the woods, resulting in Lyme disease. Masters says that neither of them has a rash or a tick bite, but Foreman says many cases don't present with a rash and that a tick bite is easy to miss. House agrees. "Start him on doxycycline for Lyme." Meanwhile, Chase has accessed his credit card account online and discovered that he unwittingly donated $2,500 to the charity. "Cancel your credit card, find that girl, and marry her," is House's advice.
Landon is refusing treatment. "Let him be your guinea pig. You can dose me after you're sure you're right." Masters says the side effects are minimal and it would be safer to give him the treatment before he starts to develop any more symptoms. But he refuses. "I'm not your drill instructor," she tells him, patiently. "I'm not trying to break you. My only job is to make you better. I truly believe this medicine is our best shot, but whether or not you take it is up to you." He takes the medicine.
House has turned Wilson's office into a miniature version of the Waldenwood playroom. "Well, this isn't weird at all," Wilson observes. House is trying to get her to play a game with a toy monkey, bribing her with cheese doodles. "She's got the fine motor skills of the Hulk in oven mitts." As Rachel puts the play food in the monkey's mouth like she's supposed to, House presses something in his hand that makes a strange clicking noise, then reaches for the doodles. "What is that?" Wilson asks. "Dog training clicker. Gives immediate positive reinforcement, bridging the precious seconds between desired behavior and treat delivery." Wilson says Rachel's not a dog, but he admits that it does seem to be working. "Does Cuddy know that Rachel's here?" Wilson asks. "And that you're turning her into a schnauzer?" House tells him he lied to the nanny to abscond with Rachel. And then he pats Rachel on the head and tells her she's a good girl.
Chase is sure this time that he's got the right girl, Mackenzie. "It had to be you. I gave you my credit card to pay for drinks." But she says she gave it right back, and denies taking the picture. "Go away," she says. Chase says he's not convinced, since she's obviously mad at him. "I thought we totally had a connection," she says. "And then when you didn't ask me for my number . . ." "A connection?" Chase laughs. "It was a threesome!" Mackenzie says that it was clear that he was into her more than the other girl. Then a man's voice calls for Mackenzie in the house. It's her dad. "You live with your parents?" Chase asks. "Just until graduation," she says. "College?" he asks, hopefully. Nope. "How old are you?" he asks. "Eighteen," she says. " . . . next month. Relax! It's not illegal or anything." Chase is far from relaxed at this point, but Mackenzie swears that she's not the one who posted the picture. "My parents won't even let me on social networking sites. Too many sexual predators."
Back at the hospital, Landon is trying to make a break for it. Foreman and Masters catch up to him in the hall. He pleads to Masters: "Please! Help me! Don't send me back!" But at that same time Masters' car keys fall to the floor. He stole them from her. "No bad kids, huh?" Foreman asks her. They're distracted when they hear Driscoll screaming from the room. He's got crippling pain in his legs.
In the office, Foreman tells them the leg pain was caused by a muscle cramp from low sodium, which was itself caused by kidney dysfunction. And since Landon didn't respond to the doxycycline either, Lyme disease is off the table. Masters is upset: "I thought I was getting through to him, and he just wanted to steal my car keys." "If only his previous behavior had given you a reason to expect that," House says, as he carefully applies hot sauce to a caterpillar toy. So what caused the kidney dysfunction? Masters suggests arsenic poisoning and says people do change. "Driscoll took it to heart when I asked him to think about Landon's history. He was much nicer." House immediately dismisses arsenic poisoning and adds that "conversations with moralizing strangers do not make people change their behavior." He licks the caterpillar and winces from the taste. "Rachel is not going to do that more than once!" Chase suggests Whipple's disease, but Masters says there would be GI involvement. "Why is it impossible to believe," Masters says, "that I made a compelling argument, and he . . ." But House interrupts. "If he changed, it's because something besides you made that argument compelling." Taub says botulinum toxin, which lives in soil, could have resulted in compromised kidneys secondary to bladder issues. "Got into the kid's bloodstream through the cut on his forehead, got into the drill instructor's through some abrasions on his feet." House likes that, and orders antitoxin for both of them.
In the patients' room, Landon is trying to explain himself to Masters. "I saw my chance to get out of here. I had to take it." But she says that's just an excuse. Driscoll again tells her the kids are manipulators and you can never let your guard down. Landon objects to being lumped in with the "losers" at the camp. "Look, I've screwed up, but I've never been in trouble with the law." Masters is confused: wasn't he sent to the camp for shoplifting? "A store owner caught me trying to boost some chips and stuff. Called my DCS case worker." Aren't all the kids there under court order? "That's how it usually works," Driscoll says. "So, why is he different?" Masters asks. Driscoll doesn't know.
Chase is down to one possibility: Nika, and he's at her apartment to confront her. "Why would I take a naked picture of you?" she asks. "I mean, you're cute, but you're not that cute. Now please go." But he's convinced it's her, especially since she's clearly pissed off. "I'm pissed off because you're in my apartment and my boyfriend might be here any minute. Last thing I want to do is publicize that I cheated on him, so why would I prank you?" Chase doesn't believe her: where was this mysterious boyfriend last month at the wedding? She says he was out of town and offers proof: a picture from her sister's recent birthday party, in which she's standing between her sister and her boyfriend, kissing him. "You used me, I used you. It was a mistake. Now I just want to forget about it."
In House's office, Masters says she contacted Landon's DCS worker. "You were right," she tells House. "I am not what made my argument compelling." And they both go to the patients' room. Masters starts to wheel Landon out. "Where are we going?" he asks her. Masters says they're going to give his bladder an antibiotic wash to protect against infection, leaving House alone with Driscoll.
"Who are you?" Driscoll asks.
"I'm Dr. House. And that boy is the spitting image of his mother. Of course, I've never seen her, but his care worker told my lackey that you paid his enrollment fee at the camp. Now, that could mean that you're a family friend, but then, why hide it? The only person who'd want to hide it is his deadbeat dad, who's decided not to be a deadbeat anymore."
"Please, don't tell him," he begs House.
Later, in House's office, House is lamenting that they spent days trying to find a link between them, and Driscoll never told them Landon is his son. "Soon he won't have to worry about his kid finding out," Taub says. "Being dead makes keeping secrets much easier. Neither one is responding to botulism treatment and the boy started having seizures." Foreman says that it might not make a difference that they're related: genetic illnesses emerge when people are the same age, not in the same week. Chase wonders if there was something that could have triggered a genetic illness. "Our patients are related. That can't be a coincidence," he says, then suddenly seems to have an epiphany about his own situation and gets up from the table. But House is only interested in the case and tells him to sit back down. He suggests Wegener's granulomatosis, which can be brought on by heavy metals. Masters remembers that near the isolation hut at the camp there were some old batteries; maybe they could have leaked into the soil? But why wouldn't anyone else have lead poisoning? Without any better ideas, they'll treat for the Wegener's with cyclophosphamide. "Now if you'll excuse me," House says. "I have a play date."
In the patients' room, Masters asks Driscoll why he didn't come forward after Landon's mom died. He said he didn't find out until much later, and Landon was already in the foster system at that point. "I was figuring out a way to approach him, when he got into trouble. So, I brought him to the camp." Masters says that he needs to tell Landon the truth, but Driscoll says he can't, not now. "If I die, the only thing I'll ever be to him is a hard-ass who made him run obstacle courses." She tells him Landon doesn't need a drill instructor - he needs a dad.
It's time for Rachel's admissions meeting, and Cuddy is impressed that House showed up. "Just trying to be supportive," he says, though he's curiously wearing a cap and a long coat. When the teacher House met earlier comes in the room he tips the lid down to hide himself. The kids from the play group run out, and one of the administrators talks to Cuddy. "Rachel had a great time. Played with everything. She's a very clever girl." Then she leans in to House and Cuddy: "I'm sorry to have to ask this, but we've had some problems with parents coaching kids. Rachel caught on to our toys unusually quickly and she even knew the game was called Feed the Monkey." Cuddy is somewhat offended. "As eager as I am for her to go here, I promise you I would never do that. Hey, Rachel, have you ever played Feed the Monkey before?" she asks. Rachel looks up at House and then back at Cuddy, "No mama."
Back at the hospital later, House is regaling a clinic patient with the tale while he cleans a leg wound. "She seemed so dumb. But when the pressure was on, she knew what had to be done, and she did it." The patient doesn't get why he's so proud that his kid lied. "She not my kid. She's a pain in the ass, and she's a better liar than you are. You didn't cut your leg getting into your truck. The abrasion has dirt and gravel in it, and a bit of fertilizer, too." He comes clean: "Tripped in my greenhouse. Growing my own organic veggies." House doesn't care and he's not going to tell on him; he's still psyched about Rachel. "She didn't hesitate. She didn't oversell. It took me years to learn how to lie like that. Rachel has it on instinct." The truck driver says that House must really like Rachel, but he balks at the idea. "You really aren't good with nuance, are you? I admire her talent," as he gets back to the patient's leg. "I'm just going to numb you up," but he suddenly gets an idea. "I gotta go," he tells the truck driver, and leaves the room.
House goes to the patients' room, and Masters is there. "Latest kidney function test shows no improvement," she tells him. House walks over to Landon and checks out the cut on his head. "Nice stitches. Did they hurt?" Landon says no, because the doctors gave him a shot of something. "It was lidocaine," House says. "Triggered an underlying genetic condition called variegate porphyria. "That would explain their symptoms," Masters says. Driscoll didn't have any lidocaine, but he did have the antihistamines that Landon dosed him with, which is also a porphyria trigger. Now Landon is confused. "Wait, so we have the same genetic thing?" "Yeah," House tells him. "Small world," as he looks over at Driscoll. Masters says that they can manage the condition with hematin, and a liver transplant could cure it altogether. "Sometimes two patients share one donated liver - would that work for us?" Driscoll asks. Masters tells him that it would depend on whether their blood and tissue type matched. "Why would they?" Landon asks. "Just 'cause we got the same thing making us sick . . ." But Driscoll interrupts, "Also," he starts, tentatively, "I'm your father." Landon doesn't believe him. House would be happy to check the DNA for him. "Do you really think he'd say he's your dad if he isn't? It's not like you're a catch."
Chase has tracked down Nika's sister. He saw her in Nika's picture and put it together. "You're evil," he tells her. "Barely recognize you with your clothes on," she says. "You were at the wedding with your sister," Chase says. She says she shared a room with her, too. "Came by to change my shoes and, uh, found you in the bathroom. Took you long enough to find me." But Chase isn't amused. How was he supposed to know it was an overly protective sister of a girl he slept with one time? She tells him it's got nothing to do with Nika. Chase still doesn't get it. She laughs. "If you really have no clue, then you so deserve this," and starts to walk away. "All that creativity and energy you put into pranking me - seems like you're trying to make a point," he says. "You really don't want to tell me what it was?" She gives up: "You're a really big fan of John Hughes movies. You inexplicably prefer 'Some Kind of Wonderful' to '16 Candles,' though that's probably because -" Chase is starting to remember: "Mary Stuart Masterson looked hot in those leather gloves." He's confused, but it's starting to come back: "We talked at the reception! That's why you hate me? It was fun!" She agrees it was great, until she told him she doesn't sleep with guys on the first date. "And then you said you had to go to the bathroom, and you never came back," she says. "Actions have consequences." Chase says seeking vengeance on every guy who acts like an ass could be a full-time job. "When we were talking, you seemed like a nice guy. So, either you're a great actor, or you're a nice guy who lost his way. Whatever the reasons a little negative reinforcement seemed to be warranted." And she smiles at him. "Oh, currently your password is GreatBigHo. Change it back to anything but 'password.' " She starts to walk away, but Chase calls out to her: "Hey, I'm sorry. Let me prove it to you by taking you out to dinner. Followed by not sleeping with you." She just laughs and says, "Not on your life" and continues on her way.
Back at the hospital, Driscoll tries to talk to Landon, but Landon has no interest. "OK," Driscoll says. "I'll wait 'til you're ready. You're my son. I'm not going anywhere."
At Cuddy's, she and Rachel are playing in Rachel's room. House comes in and Cuddy tells him that Waldenwood loved Rachel but they don't have room for her this year. "She's a smart kid. She'll be fine," House says. Rachel crawls up into House's lap to sleep.