GCB Episode 1.08 Pride Comes Before a Fall

Amanda and Pastor Tudor grab handfuls of pamphlets and scurry out of an unfamiliar church -- Hillside Park Shared Remembrance. Tudor has brought Amanda here for a little reconnaissance work. Three different families have left his congregation to join this one and he wants to know why. He admits that the pastor here -- Reverend Steve -- is a former classmate of his from seminary school, which makes the burn that much worse.

They're driving off when they almost run over Reverend Steve himself. Flashing a smug grin, he delights in telling Tudor how much fun the new families are having with the church's current production of Godspell. Will Tudor's congregation be putting on a musical this year, being the church's 75th Anniversary and all? Yes, Amanda butts in. It's an original piece, one that will blow Godspell away. Reverend Steve says to put him down for a ticket, then leaves. Tudor is shocked. Amanda made lying look easy. Amanda counters that it won't be lying if they actually do a musical. It's important for Tudor's ministry and it might just bring those runaway families back. Tudor wonders where they could possibly find a musical, but Amanda is already one step ahead of him.

Amanda and Heather pore over open boxes and find the musical Heather wrote in the 10th grade: The Miracles of Jesus. It's easy to stage and with Amanda's experience leading the cheerleading squad, she can direct. With Heather's help? No way, Heather barks. She was one of Amanda's cheerleaders and still has the emotional scars to show for it. Amanda says that's the reason why she wants to do this. Not only will she be helping out Pastor Tudor, directing the musical is her way of finally putting the old high school "mean girl" to rest. Heather reluctantly agrees to assist.

The news breaks. Sharon tells Carlene and Cricket that she won't be able to audition. She's busy with her diet meal plan, Losing It With Jesus. She's been booked on the local TV shopping show, Texas Excess, and is on the hunt for an image consultant. Carlene's not even listening. She's already anointing herself the lead role of the Holy Spirit. Unfortunately for her, she'll have to first get through Cricket, who's also gunning for the lead.

On stage, Cricket is ready to audition for Amanda, Heather and Pastor Tudor. She announces that Caruth Industries will be providing the lighting, sound and high-wire aerial equipment for the show. Amanda declines her offer. They'll be making decisions on talent alone. Cricket sings. It's a beautiful acappella rendition of This Little Light of Mine. She's about to start the second verse when Carlene emerges from the side stage wearing a Britney Spears microphone. The ladies engage in an epic sing-off that culminates in Carlene popping confetti.

Over tea, Sharon asks Gigi to help her get "camera ready" for Texas Excess. Gigi coached girls in pageants years ago and Sharon needs to exude that same poise and confidence. Gigi reluctantly agrees, telling Sharon that she has a reputation for perfection. Her record cannot be sullied. That means Sharon must do exactly as Gigi says without question. Sharon gulps. Looks like there will be some suffering ahead...

At the fellowship hall, Amanda posts the cast list. Carlene squeals with delight -- she's the Holy Spirit. And Ripp is Jesus! But how? He didn't even audition. Amanda tells him that he has an inherent, calm strength that is perfect for the role. Meanwhile, Blake tries to get Cricket to look on the bright side. He's Lazarus, she's The Leper, so they get to share the stage together. But Cricket won't play second fiddle to Carlene, so she quits the show.

During the first rehearsal, Reverend Steve makes an unannounced visit. Amanda, Heather and Pastor Tudor have to grin and bear it when he pokes fun at their bare bones set. Feeling the pressure of putting on a good show, Amanda tells Heather she has to let out her former mean girl -- just a little bit -- in order to get what the play needs to be a smashing success. She goes to Cricket and asks for the equipment she previously offered. Cricket says no -- Amanda crushed her dreams by passing her over for the lead, which proves that she's still the evil girl she was in high school. Amanda has no choice but to turn on her manipulative charms and gets Cricket to admit that she yearns for the spotlight. If she comes back to the show, director Amanda will make it worth her while...

Over at Sharon's, Gigi coaches the burgeoning diet mogul. Sharon's sales pitch is bubbly and unorganized. Not bad, just not polished, according to Gigi. So she teaches her to be more serious, to drop her voice an octave, to basically talk and act like Gigi. Seems that someone might be unconsciously creating a mini-me.

During rehearsal, Amanda pulls Carlene into her office and breaks the news: she's being demoted to The Leper. Carlene flips out when she hears that Cricket will be her replacement. She leaves in a tizzy and goes to Heather. Won't she use her powers as the musical's writer to fix this Leper situation? Heather doesn't want to get involved, but Carlene threatens to pull all of her real estate listings, which could severely jeopardize Heather's livelihood.

At the next rehearsal, Heather marches in with a re-written script that demotes Cricket the Holy Spirit to a non-speaking role and elevates Carlene The Leper to the lead. A frustrated Amanda tells Heather that they can't stage this ridiculous version, but Heather fires back. Had Amanda not pulled out her old mean girl, Heather may not have been backed into a corner. For now, this is the version they're doing. Later, Amanda watches as the cast runs through the new musical. It's terrible and altogether blasphemous, so she puts her foot down. They're going back to the original piece! Soon, all the secrets come out: Amanda's back door deal with Cricket, Carlene's blackmailing of Heather. The GCBs eventually turn on Amanda and accuse her of kick starting the whole chain of events. At her wit's end, Amanda lashes out at them. She may have made a few mistakes, but they brought their own crazy to the party. All this time spent yapping about high school -- maybe it's because they're still the same losers now as they were back then! Humiliated, the GCBs walk out, followed by the entire cast. Amanda is left alone, feeling more horrible than ever.

On stage at Texas Excess, Sharon pitches her diet plan to host Lonnie McMahon. It's stiff, awkward and very un-Sharon like. She eventually has an on-air meltdown and runs off the stage. Now sobbing in the dressing room, Sharon admits to Gigi that this wasn't simply a vanity project for her. With Zack's car dealership going under, she needed this business to work so she could keep her family afloat. Gigi is flabbergasted. She tells Sharon a secret of her own: that she only started coaching pageants in the first place because Amanda ran off and she wanted to get her pride back. She assures Sharon that she is perfect the way she is and when Sharon goes back out there as herself, she sells out of her diet plans. When the show is over, Gigi and Sharon celebrate. But Gigi reminds her that she sold plans -- not meals. So she's going to need a much bigger kitchen...

Pastor Tudor comes into the church to find Amanda praying. She feels horrible that the musical is off, but even more so about how she humiliated the girls. Tudor tells her to just forgive herself and give the ladies time to move forward. This gives Amanda an idea: instead of moving forward, she has to go back.

Amanda tricks Carlene, Cricket and Heather into coming to the high school parking lot. Dressed in her old cheerleading uniform, she presents them with buckets of mud. During her days as a former "Fox," she humiliated her "Javelina" underlings by dumping mud on them. As a symbolic gesture, she wants the girls to now dump mud on her so they can finally put the past behind them. They're reluctant at first, but when Amanda chides them, they let loose. A fight of mythic proportions ensues until all the girls are covered with mud. In a vulnerable moment, Carlene admits that she once dreamed of a Hollywood career, which is why she's obsessed with the spotlight. Knowing how much it means to her, Cricket says she can keep the lead role. All made up, the girls are ready to resurrect the musical! But when they get to church, they see that Ripp is already directing the cast. As Jesus, he needs to protect his flock. So if the ladies come back to the show, they must agree to act like upstanding Christian women. They all agree, so he lets them back in. The show will finally go on.

The congregation gathers for the big night. Jazz hands and dance steps abound. Jesus heals The Leper, Lazarus rises from the dead, and the Holy Spirit is about to soar to the rafters for the finale. But Cricket wore the flight harness last and it was specifically calibrated to her body weight, so as Carlene belts out a note, she goes wildly flying through the sanctuary. Amanda, Heather and the congregation watch in horror as she flails in the air. The stagehands try to control her, but she ends up crashing through the stained-glass window of the church. Fortunately, she isn't hurt. Consummate professional Carlene dusts the glass off and belts out the last line. The congregation jumps to their feet with applause. Pastor Tudor insists Amanda take a bow, but no sooner does she take the stage than the GCBs eclipse her. Looks like our ladies are already back to their old selves...