Dean Pelton's thrilled to usher Greendale into legitimacy with the introduction of Subway into the cafeteria! However, Shirley and Pierce aren't so thrilled; the dean took Shirley's sandwich shop idea and completely sold out. Pierce surprises everyone by doing some research and finding an essential loophole: any business operating for profit must be at least owned by a Greendale registered student.
The dean anticipated this move, so Subway has inserted its own figurehead at Greendale. Using a groundbreaking (but surprisingly legal) process known as "corpo-humanization," real people are now allowed to represent the collective humanity of business owners. Enter "Subway" the student, who has contractually waived his birth identity and is now a man and student named Subway. He can't vote though... technically he's only a week old!
Jeff's surprised to learn that he's been at Greendale for three years and had no idea he had locker, a consequence of missing Pre-Orientation Freshman Welcome Seminar and Diversity Fire Circle 2009. He finally opens his locker and is met with an onslaught of flyers, in addition to a cruel letter from someone named Kim whom he apparently offended. Jeff has no idea who Kim is, but he is determined to make things right. When he goes to Kim's locker, a male student tells Jeff that Kim actually passed away... it's too late for Jeff to give his apology.
Troy and Abed are busy working on their latest project: a massive pillow fort. Pillow forts are much more complicated than blanket forts and pose a new exciting challenge for this pair of best friends. The dean approaches Troy and Abed to let them know that Guinness has caught wind of their massive fort and are sending over a representative. Troy points out that maybe they should switch over to blankets to get the square footage needed to break records, but Abed insists that they shouldn't sacrifice quality for square footage.
Dean Laybourne of the air-conditioning school decides to insert himself to try and incite disagreement between Troy and Abed. Laybourne points out that like Constable Reggie of Inspector Spacetime, Troy is an obedient follower of Abed (Inspector Spacetime) who doesn't think for himself. Maybe it's time for the Constable to take center stage and make some executive decisions.
Pierce and Shirley have recruited Britta to get close to Subway and use her liberal feminine wiles to destroy him. Always willing to stick it to the man, Britta eagerly agrees to participate, but she doesn't anticipate falling head over heels for Subway himself. Britta and Subway have a torrid secret affair, unaware that Pierce has planted a microphone on Britta to capture her misdeeds.
Inspired by Laybourne's words, Troy decides to build his own blanket fort in an attempt to break the record, since Abed insists on maintaining the integrity of his pillow fort. When the two forts cross paths, Dean Pelton insists that Abed destroy his pillow fort so Troy can solider on, since he has a higher probability of breaking the record.
Later, the same student who told Jeff Kim was dead approaches Jeff and tells him that HE is Kim, insisting that it's actually a very common name for men. He wrote that note himself, because he and Jeff have hung out 10 times, but Jeff still reintroduces himself every time. Is Kim REALLY that unmemorable?
Abed concedes and agrees to destroy his pillow fort. That is, until Dean Laybourne again intervenes and inspires Abed to take control of the situation, standing his ground against Troy. Laybourne's meddling ways are successful, and Abed decides to keep the integrity of his fort intact.
Pierce and Shirley turn their scandalous recording of Britta and Subway in to the board, and Subway is gone before Britta even has the chance to say goodbye. Her love is replaced with a new figurehead, and Britta is left brokenhearted.
The two sides are in a stalemate, as neither pillow nor blanket fort is willing to stand down. Then, Starburns throws a single pillow into the air... inciting the beginning of an epic pillow vs. blanket war. To be continued!