Dean Pelton and Annie wear STD fair t-shirts to help promote Greendale's latest campus activity. Annie hands Troy a flyer for the fair but he quickly bundles it up and tosses it towards the trash can, missing. Abed does the same but makes a slam dunk. Troy challenges him to prove that he is the better athlete in fear that Abed is moving into his territory: sports.
Jeff walks past Dean Pelton and Annie, trying to ignore their efforts, until Jeff is distracted by the dean's new assistant, a young woman named Sabrina. Annie passes out fortune cookies to promote the STD fair that say, "You'll get AIDSÃ¢â�¬Â¦ unless you go to the STD Fair." Jeff and Britta are both taken aback by it; Annie is thrilled she wrote it.
Pierce asks Jeff to double date with him and his new girlfriend, Lorraine. She's an escort, but only by profession, not with Pierce. He is taking her to Annie's STD Fair later that night. Troy is upset that Abed beat him at basketball too.
When Jeff tries to back out of the double date, Pierce suggests that it's because of the short notice and he's certain Jeff couldn't get a date that quickly. Jeff takes Pierce's challenge.
Dean Pelton tells Annie that he has decided she should conduct a condom demonstration center stage at the STD Fair. Dean Pelton tells her she will be putting it on an anatomically correct model of a penis, not a real one. Annie panics.
Jeff goes through his phone filled with numbers of women all named by location, hair color or other identifiable traits. When he tries calling a few to get a date for that night, he is brutally rebuffed. Britta approaches, looks through his phone and finds "hot blond from Spanish class" listed. She suggests that his shallow approach to dating is perhaps why he can't find a date.
Annie goes straight to Britta and Shirley for help with the condom demonstration issue. Annie has never seen a real penis and is worried she'll mess up the demonstration. Annie admits to not being a virgin, but also admits that her previous "relations" were with an ex-boyfriend in high school who wouldn't let her look at "it."
Annie suggests to Britta and Shirley that they break into the dean's office to get the actual model to practice with, to avoid having to tell the dean of her fears or lack of experience. Britta and Shirley agree to help Annie break into the dean's office.
At the STD Fair, Pierce find Jeff alone and tries to comfort him by reassuring him that dry spells in the lady department only last on average 12-15 years, in his experience. Jeff immediately turns his focus to Sabrina, the dean's new assistant. At the fair, the dean is spinning the "Wheel of Remorse" when Jeff approaches asking for information on Sabrina.
Dean Pelton chats with Senor Chang, who is busy stuffing Greendale condoms into his pocket. The dean is quite pleased with his decision to have "Greendale!" printed on the actual condoms.
After losing to Abed again, this time at a carnival game, Troy is furious and challenges Abed to arm wrestling on the spot. In the middle of the STD Fair, he clears a table and they arm wrestle. However, to Troy's dismay, Abed wins without much effort.
Annie, Shirley and Britta pile into the dean's outer office to try and break in. Before trying to break the lock on the door, they each look through the hole in the door and spot "it." Annie was most surprised to see "it," as "it" was nothing like she has imagined "it" to be. Just then the campus police walk in on them and bust up the attempted break-in.
Jeff is pleasantly surprised by Pierce's date, Lorraine. They have a lovely conversation and after she tells him he could do a lot better than Sabrina, Jeff takes off with her anyway. Then Lorraine tells Pierce that if he wants to continue to hang out for the night it will cost him $200.
Dean Pelton is mystified at the student's behavior at the STD Fair, after they'd consumed so much alcohol. Campus security then finds him to tell him there has been a break-in at his office. Dean Pelton, the school counselor, Britta, Shirley and Annie all discuss the incident.
Troy and Abed are running across campus in yet another challenge to prove who is the better athlete. Abed lets Troy win. Back inside the STD Fair, Chang suggests to Dean Pelton that this might be the only STD Fair to actually spread STDs.
When students decide to make water balloons out of the condoms, they discover they have holes from the exclamation point at the end of the word "Greendale!" In a panic, the dean asks Troy to run to his office to make an announcement.
Troy and Abed are running across campus in yet another challenge to prove who is the better athlete. Abed lets Troy win. But, Troy asks Abed to make the announcement about the condoms -- Abed truly is the best athlete on campus since he let Troy win the race.
Abed runs to the dean's office to warn the students not the use the condoms. After ending things with Sabrina, Jeff returns to the STD Fair to chat with Pierce. Jeff has learned his lesson. He then privately changes "hot blond from Spanish class" to "Britta" in his phone.