Ted has been trying to avoid Ryan, the Veridian security guard who has a habit of sucking people into long, boring conversations. Chatting with Ted is the best part of Ryan's day. Nevertheless, Ted tells Ryan that he needs to stop talking to him so much. This is hard for Ryan to hear. Then the chatty guard's pregnant wife pops by to say what a great friend Ted's been to her hubby. Awkward.
Devastated by Ted's stinging words, Ryan quits his job. This has Ted feeling extremely guilty. He didn't mean to hurt the guy; he only wanted to change him. Ted swings by Ryan's place to apologize and ask him to come back to work. Ryan, who has been drinking, eventually agrees. Then his wife's water breaks. Ryan is too tipsy to drive, so it's a good thing his old buddy Ted is there to take them to the hospital. And film the birth. And help the name the baby. Maybe even cut the cord!
Linda has her own Ryan-esque thing happening with an extremely dull man named Mr. Krebs. But unlike Ted, she embraces the situation by actually initiating a friendly conversation. Linda is very proud of the fact that she's able to brighten the day of a lonely old man. But Krebs isn't lonely. The truth is he thinks Linda is super-needy and usually tries to avoid getting sucked into her conversation tractor beam.
The Veridian P.A. system is so muffled that when there was an announcement about a toxic gas leak, no one understood what was being said. The workers were fine once they regained consciousness and cleansed their systems through excessive vomiting. But now everyone flees the building anytime there's an announcement.
To put a halt to the constant evacuations, Veronica wants Phil and Lem to design a new P.A. system. But after working so closely with our favorite scientist guys, Veronica realizes that she can't stand how they act. So she's changing them. Now only one of them can speak.
This puts a crimp in the standard Phil-Lem banter we all know and love. As Lem speaks, Phil does pantomime gestures to help accentuate what he's saying. But this doesn't fly with Veronica. The next time they present something to her, only one of them is allowed in the room. Lem nominates Phil for the job.
Linda tries to calm down Phil, who is getting ready to meet with Veronica. But her pep talk takes a detour when she sees Krebs trying to avoid her. She has it out with old guy, saying she's not needy, he is. Krebs disagrees. They get into a shouting match, which kind of turns on Krebs. Now Linda truly has a good reason to never talk to him again.
A nervous Phil finally has his solo meeting with Veronica. He shows her a pin that serves a wireless microphone for the new P.A. system. Veronica asks Phil to pin it on her. Of course, he ends up sticking her in the neck. Veronica screams, "Get out! Get out!" Unfortunately, the microphone was on at the time and all of the Veridian workers flee the building. So, the new P.A. system works, but they still have that same old evacuation problem.
Ted never made it to the hospital with Ryan and his wife. Paramedics helped bring the brand new baby into the world by delivering him in the backseat of Ted's car. Hey, that's what a friend's car is for, right? Ted returns to a vacated Veridian and admits to Veronica that he never should have tried to change Ryan. Veronica confesses that trying to change Phil and Lem was even more annoying than just leaving them be. And she got stabbed in the neck!
Veronica thinks her kindergarten teacher may have been right. Maybe she is too controlling. Ted says, "Probably. But I am certainly not going to try to change you." Good thing, too. We like everyone on this show just the way they are. Except for maybe that Krebs guy. He got a little creepy frothing over Linda.