Episode PremiereApril 05, 2012
Show Period2006 - 2013
Production CompanyBroadway Video, Little Stranger, NBC Universal
Cast and Crew
ScreenwriterLauren Gurganous, Nina Pedrad
- Tina Fey as Liz Lemon
- Alec Baldwin as Jack Donaghy
- Tracy Morgan as Tracy Jordan
- Jane Krakowski as Jenna Maroney / Dusty Springfield
- Jack McBrayer as Kenneth Parcell
- Judah Friedlander as Frank Rossitano
- Keith Powell as Toofer
- Katrina Bowden as Cerie
- Scott Adsit as Pete Hornberger
- Lonny Ross as Josh Girard
- Maulik Pancholy as Jonathan
Practically skipping into Jack's office, Liz hands over her self-evaluation form. Her greatest weakness? Being too humble, naturally. The evaluations are a joke in Jack's mind, as employees cannot possibly be objective about themselves. Jenna seems to be the only honest one: "I have no strengths. I am the worst person I know." Flustered, Jenna rushes in and grabs the drunkenly filled out evaluation to start afresh.
Jenna balls up the form, discarding it in her trash can. Her phone rings and Christopher Nolan is on the other end! The British director wants Jenna to star in his upcoming movie, but first she must pass a camera test. The scene shifts to a confused Jenna, painted blue from head to toe and wearing a Smurf costume. Apparently, Nolan wanted her to dress like a Smurf and do cartwheels in Times Square, a rather unconventional casting method. As she walks into the writers' room, Frank, Toofer and Lutz are in hysterics because the whole thing was a prank.
Seeing Jenna's empty tattoo concealer in her trashcan, Kenneth buys her a replacement. He explains to Jenna that in his new job as a janitor, he sees everyone's mistakes, hopes and dreams through their trash. The light bulb switches on for Jenna: she deviously claims the concealer is the wrong color, sending Kenneth off and leaving her alone with the writers' trash cans' secrets. Revenge is sweet. Jenna's digging uncovers Frank's Taylor Swift concert ticket for one and Toofer's provocative photos he sent to Parade columnist Marilyn vos Savant. Jenna happily reveals the secrets she's discovered to the writing staff; she warns them not to mess further with her. Eager to be included, Lutz wonders what his embarrassing trash discovery will be. Jenna tells him that he's not important enough, so she didn't bother digging for his dirty secrets.
Tracy dons his new fragrance, "Desirz." It's a noxious mixture of the Knicks, a strip club mop, a carefree hobo, a crate with a new giraffe in it and broccoli intertwined in the cologne. Tracy doesn't have a sense of smell, so he's unaware of the horrible odor. Concerned, Liz brings him into Dr. Spaceman's office for a nose checkup. In one easy pull, Dr. Spaceman discovers and removes a Buck Rogers decoder ring from Tracy's nose. He'd stuffed it in his nose when he was nine so his foster mom wouldn't force him to sell it for a Cheerio. Within the hour, Tracy will regain his sense of smell, a potentially overpowering life change, cautions Dr. Spaceman. Prancing through TGS, Tracy enjoys all the scents the world has to offer. But when he reaches Liz, he smells... his daddy?
Tracy shows up early to TGS to impress Daddy-Liz. He evens changes into costume without being asked. Capitalizing on the opportunity, Liz plays into Tracy's memories and manipulates him into doing what he's supposed to. "Be careful," Dotcom warns, "smell is the scent most closely associated with memory." Liz narrows Tracy's scent memory to her Midnight Symphony hair pomade, a hair product generally used by older black men. The newly empowered Tracy is productive and hardworking. He's even developed new characters for the show. However, Liz discovers his ability to smell has wrecked his home life: Angie's ethnic cooking smells terrible, and his teenage boys' scent is atrocious. Tracy's two California king beds are now stuffed in his dressing room.
After reading Pete's self-evaluation where he sees himself essentially in the exact some position five years hence, Jack determines that Pete's lost his mojo. Pete explains that his life used to be glorious, filled with accomplishments, but his life has been in a free fall over the past two decades. Staying in place would be a major accomplishment, Pete tells Jack. But Jack is determined to turn Pete's luck around; he brings him to the New York Racquet Club, a gym for the city's elite. "Throw some punches, feel like a man," Jack urges. Squaring off with a man-shaped dummy, Pete screams a guttural "Hornberger!" and quickly knocks it back onto himself, sending him sprawling to the floor. An awkward wrestling match ensues, one that the dummy is clearly winning. Pete, sensing he's got a broken nose, submits to the dummy's greater power.
Bruised and broken, Pete is lectured by Jack on the confidence spectrum. On the ultra-confident end are Vladimir Putin and Jack, while Richard Nixon and the 1980 Olympic hockey team are on the nothing-left-to-lose end. Jack realizes he made a tactical error with Pete. Jack now knows that Pete is incredibly close to the nothing-left-to-lose end, but Jack's been trying to push him to ultra-confident. He only needed a light shove in the right direction. "I already have nothing left to lose," Pete insists. Jack disagrees - Pete's remaining ring of head hair must go.
Liz seeks Jack's counsel. Is work productivity or the employees' best interest most important? Tracy is now an industrious team member, but he is estranged from his family. Should she put an end to it, even though it's made TGS much easier to produce? Jack tells Liz that she's using Tracy, just as he's using Pete to procrastinate on his own self-evaluation. Because his own next five years are a mystery, Jack is putting off the form to fix Pete's unfixable problems. Bald, black-eyed, bloody-nosed Pete fumes in Jack's office. Since Jack has tried to help him, Pete complains, his life has gone from bad to worse. His hair covered a birthmark resembling a swastika made out of penises. Paula made him wear a Little Orphan Annie wig while they made love last night, just so she wouldn't see how hideous he was. With much bravado, Pete orders Jack out of his office. Shocked, Jack gives Pete a thumbs-up at his marked boost in confidence; Pete responds by throwing a stapler.
Liz and Tracy have a father-smell to son talk. She tells him that over the last 24 hours, he's evolved into a wonderful young man, but there's only one thing he needs to do to make Liz proud. Back in Dr. Spaceman's office, the doctor shoves a pencil topper back up Tracy's nose. Goodbye, helpful Tracy.
Jenna crossed a line by excluding Lutz from her trash digging, Toofer and Frank accuse. His self-esteem issues shouldn't be ignored, so Jenna needs to apologize. Exacting their own payback, Toofer and Frank found Jenna's self-evaluation form in which she confesses her dirty little secrets. They could have caused significant damage with the information, but Toofer and Frank decided to take the high road, they tell Jenna. Jenna overhears Lutz berating himself in the dressing room mirror. Even his son, Twilight's Kellan Lutz, doesn't want anything to do with him. Troubled, Jenna asks Kenneth where the writers' garbage is. Kenneth already took their trash to the basement, but not before emptying their refrigerator. "To use a technical janitorial term, it smelled like 'total ass,'" says Kenneth.
After clawing through garbage all night, Jenna finds the perfect revenge for Lutz - a prescription drug bottle. Snickering, the three confess Lutz's mirror scene was a prank, so they could snap pictures of her to submit in a garbage-fetish website. They took advantage of Jenna's niceness. Triumphant, Jenna realizes she won because she's no longer the worst person alive!
More of the employees' self-evaluation answers are read. Liz hopes to be working for NBC, whatever it turns into, in five years. Jenna will probably be dead in five years. Lutz's greatest strength is being a fantastic listener, as he flexes his listening skills to hear little voices in his head.