'Could I really let my little boy go and do a film without me being there?' questions the actress wife of Will Smith when revealing she made the decision to cancel everything to look after son Jaden.
Jada Pinkett Smith turned her back on her musical ambitions so she could concentrate on helping her children launch their own careers. The "Nutty Professor" star has long dreamed of becoming a successful singer and fronted rock band Wicked Wisdom in 2002.
But Pinkett Smith struggled to balance her music career with her son Jaden Smith's acting roles so she "canceled everything" to put her little boy first. She tells The Times Magazine, "I'd wake up angry and go to bed angry. In the end, I decided things had to change."
"I was offered a tour with my band but Jaden was asked to film 'The Pursuit of Happyness'. He was seven and a half. Could I really let my little boy go and do a film without me being there? I canceled the tour. I canceled everything. I went to look after Jaden."
The actress, who is married to Hollywood star Will Smith, has also scaled back on her movie commitments in the past few years to support 12-year-old Jaden and his 10-year-old sister Willow Smith, who recently launched herself as a pop singer.
She adds, "On the one hand, I wanted a career. I'd worked so hard and yet there I was, strung out on having to make decisions based on that and it was too difficult. Should I be a star? Should I be a mum? A wife? You can't be all three, something has to give."
"I was trying to do everything but not doing anything very well. I was failing. I was papering over the cracks. I thought I was going to die. I'd wake up next to Will and think, 'What are you doing here? Why are you here?' and I'd feel angry. I felt everything was dying. But then I realized we were going round one side of the circle and we had to come out the other side."