September 23, 2010 03:06:02 GMT
After an email he wrote to Oksana Grigorieva was leaked, now a letter Mel Gibson sent to her has also surfaced, revealing dark moods.
Mel Gibson feared his anger was "out of control" and he was suffering "some kind of male menopause" as his relationship with Oksana Grigorieva collapsed, according to a letter allegedly written by the star. Gibson reportedly penned the rambling note to Grigorieva in December 2008, more than a year before the couple's split and the January bust-up when the Russian singer claims the actor knocked out her teeth.
In the letter, obtained by TMZ.com, the writer describes feeling so out of control he "could drink or commit a crime" and talks about going away to seek help for his problems. It reads, "I don't know why I'm so whacky (sic) and depressed but I need to get well and re-enter life. Please don't be upset I've gone - I'm just not myself and feel bad when I am so f**ked up and sick around you. I don't want to inflict this unhealthy version of myself on you..."
"Maybe it's some kind of male menopause... or God knows! This isn't who I was meant to be - I know it. I'm so ragged I could drink or commit a crime. The anger seems to be out of my control - I need to do something about it something lasting - not just a band aid..." The letter adds, "I love you! I need you! I can't live without you!"