September 22, 2010 03:03:18 GMT
'I was terrified of where we were going and my outbursts and the potential for damage,' apologetic Mel Gibson wrote on an email to Oksana Grigorieva following their altercation in January.
Mel Gibson's troubled relationship with ex-girlfriend Oksana Grigorieva is back under the spotlight following the leak of an email exchange which purportedly took place between the pair shortly after their bust-up in January. The couple split in April and subsequently became embroiled in an ugly public spat after the Russian singer accused the Hollywood star of knocking out her teeth in a violent argument.
Tape recordings of Gibson allegedly hurling abuse at his former partner, the mother of his daughter Lucia, also hit the Internet and further intensified the scandal. Now a series of emails which are said to have been sent between the pair shortly after the alleged fight have been obtained by TMZ.com. One message, reportedly sent by Gibson, simply reads, "How's your tooth?" and it is followed by another email which reads, "Could you please call me... I want to tell you how unspeakably sorry I am."
Another email allegedly sent by Gibson in March, tells of his personal woes and his attempts to rebuild the romance. It reads, "I am beginning to actually see, how screwed up I have been... I love you. I want to be here for you and for Lucy... I was terrified of where we were going and my outbursts and the potential for damage..."
A later email adds, "I really am losing my grip. I desperately need a solution. I'm sorry it has to affect you. I can't stand anything any more. I'm full of s**t and need to shovel some out... I try to be ok but it overpowers me... The pain is too great and everywhere I turn is making it heavier... I'm a f**king failure."
A response, said to be from Grigorieva , reads, "All I want is for u (sic) to be happy. To have no guilt, to smile again. With me or without me, that ever (sic) works for you. U r (sic) an incredible person. One of the kind (sic). U (sic) deserve happiness, u (sic) deserve love. Please don't torcher (sic) yourself like that, please! U (sic) didn't do anything to be so hard on yourself."