August 16, 2010 08:28:19 GMT
Admitting Jude Law was away working a lot while she was pregnant, Sadie Frost eventually pushed a 'self-destruct button' after the birth.
Sadie Frost was so depressed following the birth of her first child with Jude Law she turned to self-harming after a wild night of boozing. The actress divorced her first husband, Spandau Ballet star Gary Kemp, in 1995 and had a son, Rafferty, with Law the following year.
Frost admits Law was away working a lot while she was pregnant and after the birth she eventually pushed a "self-destruct button" and went on a drinking binge. On her return home, she claims she was so "numb" with depression, she hardly realized when she self-harmed with a pair of scissors.
In her upcoming autobiography, Crazy Days, Frost reveals, "Jude was away a lot, while I was sitting on the sofa, getting fatter and gripped by a nagging sense that I was jeopardizing my love. Rafferty was born in October of that year. I didn't want a nanny because I wanted to be alone with Raff, but unease was pulling me down, making me feel low and lost."
"Eventually I wanted to press the self-destruct button. One night I arranged a babysitter and went out. I partied all night and got home the next day racked with guilt. I was sitting at my dressing table, not feeling anything - just numb."
"I watched my hand slowly pick up a pair of scissors. It was as if I was being sucked down lower into the chair and the scissors seemed to be drawn to my arm. I appeared to have cut myself. Blood dripped down my arm. There was no sense of panic within me - I just felt empty."
The star was treated for post-natal depression, but the condition returned after the birth of her daughter, Iris, in 2000. Frost and Law welcomed another son, Rudy, in 2002 before they divorced in 2003.