June 17, 2010 08:17:16 GMT
After having a constant 'crazy panic attacks', the 'Let Me Blow Ya Mind' singer decided to rid her life of anyone she didn't consider a true friend and tried to make peace with herself.
Rapper Eve almost walked away from her promising music career in 2000 after suffering a major breakdown and convincing herself she had a brain tumor. The "Let Me Blow Ya Mind" hitmaker rose to fame as the only female member of DMX's rap crew Ruff Ryders when her debut, "Let There Be Eve...Ruff Ryder's First Lady", was released in 1999.
But the stress of constantly living under the spotlight took its toll on Eve and she fell into a deep depression which quickly affected her health. In a new "Behind the Music" documentary, she says, "It was six months of my life and me trying to get back to being myself. I had headaches and chest pain, to the point where I made a doctor give me an MRI because I thought I absolutely had a tumor. It was anxiety, that I didn't know. I was having crazy panic attacks."
Eve hit rock bottom in the autumn of 2000, when she lost complete control of her emotions while holed up in a New York hotel. She explains, "I cried hysterically for hours. (I was thinking), 'How am I not happy?' I lost my happiness. I broke down, literally. Literally broke down. When I finally did break down, I had no one to talk to because they all had an agenda. Even at that time I think I kinda pushed my mum away."
The breakdown prompted Eve to take a two-month vacation in Miami, Florida, where she reflected on her personal troubles and decided to rid her life of anyone she didn't consider a true friend. She also ended her relationship with producer Stevie J and she admits she's now at peace with herself. Eve says, "I was clearing out some of my life, friends... getting away from my relationship at that time... I did a lot of soul searching, a lot of praying."