May 06, 2010 08:11:09 GMT
'I have cried a million tears about how I hurt him,' the country music star expresses her regret for hurting her ex-boyfriend.
Gay country music star Chely Wright has opened up about her odd romance with Brad Paisley in a revealing new memoir. The "Single White Female" singer 'came out' as a lesbian over the last weekend just before revealing all about her secret gay life in the pages of her autobiography "Like Me: Confessions of a Heartland Country Singer".
In the book, she talks about briefly romancing Vince Gill and her on/off relationship with the love of her life, a woman called Julia, but she really opens up about her early 2000s love affair with "Celebrity" singer Paisley.
She reveals the two met in 1999 and went on become songwriting partners before the relationship took a romantic turn. She pushed Paisley away and refused to return phone calls from him. But when they met up again a year later they became lovers - even though Wright knew she was gay, and in love with another woman.
She writes, "Brad and I began to be involved on a different level, romantically. We had a lot in common... and we shared a sense of responsibility to be good role models. Neither of us had ever done a drug in our lives, and aside from his occasional cigar, neither of us had ever tried smoking. I loved that Brad didn't drink alcohol."
"He had a strong faith, and although I didn't agree with some of his religious beliefs and he didn't agree with some of mine, we had a mutual respect... I felt that if I was going to compromise and be with a man, he'd be an amazing choice."
The couple started touring together and the media began to suspect they were more than just friends. She adds, "He loved the attention we were getting as a suspected couple, and he told me he was having trouble not shouting it from the rooftops that he was in love with me... There were so many ways in which I did love him, but I was not in love with him... I was tortured by my reality."
"Being physical with Brad did not come quickly or easily for me. After all, I am gay. I often cried during those moments of physical intimacy, and I have no idea what he made of it when I cried." But when the relationship started to turn really serious just before her 30th birthday in October, 2000, and Paisley started talking about marriage, Wright decided it was time to end the romance - by refusing to talk to him or return calls.
She reveals one night he sat confused and crying in his truck outside her Nashville, Tennessee home while she took a long bath inside, refusing to come to the door. She writes, "I have cried a million tears about how I hurt him... I am ashamed of myself for choosing to be so cruel to another human being... Perhaps this book and my coming out will help him understand that time in our lives."
Paisley is now happily married to actress Kimberly Williams. The couple has two children. He has yet to respond to Wright's revelations.