Kanye West blames his outburst at the MTV Video Music Awards on his "passion" for the music industry and his frustration at failing to land a fashion contract. West disappeared into the showbiz shadows after storming the stage at the New York ceremony in September 2009 and criticizing the decision to award Taylor Swift the Best Video award.
Speaking to fans at a Los Angeles performance by his protege Kid Cudi shortly before Christmas, December 2009, West confirmed rumors he had left the country in the aftermath of the VMAs. He told fans, "This is my first time back in America for the past three, four months."
Explaining his outburst, he added, "I love the game so much and I'm so passionate about it, that I can't take (the stress)." West then treated the audience to a new song, in which he revealed his struggle to convince fashion bosses to let him release a line of his designs.
He rapped, "I'm so anxious, I'm getting anxiety, begging one of these fashion houses to hire me. I said, 'If you acquire me, I could be a quiet me. Call it verbal dieting.'" The star has two sneaker deals - one with Nike and another with Louis Vuitton - but has spoken frequently about his desire to launch a full fashion range and even applied to be an intern at Louis Vuitton's London headquarters.