August 06, 2013 08:41:12 GMT
In her opening monologue, the 'Mean Girls' actress thanks 'celebrities who kept the tabloid industry alive in my absence' such as Anthony Weiner, Yeezy, Bieber and the Royal Baby.
"Chelsea Lately" episode guest-hosted by Lindsay Lohan finally aired on Monday night, August 5. The much-talked about gig, which marked one of LiLo's first on-screen appearances following her 90-day court ordered rehab, didn't disappoint as she did her best to bring laughs though occasionally was giggly and appeared to be nervous.
During her opening monologue, she thanked "celebrities who kept the tabloid industry alive" during her 90-day "court-ordered vacation in Malibu," like Anthony Weiner, Kanye West, Justin Bieber and the Royal Baby. "I would like to thank him for being such a d**k with an unlimited texting plan!" she said of the disgraced politician.
The "Parent Trap" star thanked West for acting like a baby and making a baby. "How come when Kanye acts like an idiot he gets a gold record, but when I act like an idiot I get a police record?" she quipped.
During the roundtable, she claimed she's allergic to vodka when commenting on gay-rights activists who dumped vodka to protest Russia's new policies. "Waste of good vodka. [I can't drink vodka.] I wind up in rehab or jail," she said with a laugh, but added, "Rightfully so."
When discussing Kristen Stewart's encounter with paparazzi during which she cursed at them, LiLo joked, "I'm just excited that Kristen Stewart, you know, finally showed some emotion. I will say this, of course she hates photographers -- they got a picture of her kissing a married man in a Mini Cooper," referring to her affair with "Snow White and the Huntsman" director Rupert Sanders.
The 27-year-old actress/singer traded cute and sometimes flirty lines with Dylan Bruce when interviewing the "Orphan Black" actor. Later, during the show's closing, she said, "I'm proud to have hosted the first episode in 'Chelsea Lately' history that did not feature a salacious headline about Lindsay Lohan."
Lindsay Lohan's opening monologue on "Chelsea Lately":
Lindsay Lohan interviews Dylan Bruce on "Chelsea Lately":