January 10, 2013 07:32:22 GMT
The estranged wife of Jason Hoppy is struggling to hold her tears when describing that her marriage has gone from a fairytale to a nightmare.
Bethenny Frankel got emotional when giving an interview to Ellen DeGeneres first time since she filed for divorce from Jason Hoppy. The reality TV star-turned-savvy businesswoman couldn't contain her tears when talking about the split. She said dealing with the personal matter and public judgment was "a very surreal thing."
"I feel like a bit of a disappointment to all of you, and I feel like a failure," the mother one said with teary eyes. "I feel like a failure, I really put it out there. I wanted the fairy tale. I thought I had it. And [daughter] Bryn is my fairy tale." She added, "I don't know how people go through this because this is excruciating. I have to say."
She understood why people had strong opinions on the matter; many were supportive but there were some who were not. "I also get letters from people saying, now I don't believe in love and that's just not true. Love is everywhere," she said. "But look, the truth is, I wanted to rip the Band-Aid off so it could start to heal. This will obviously be better."
She tried to keep a positive outlook, but couldn't help herself from feeling "scared of the unknown future." She explained, "You know everything and one day you don't know. So I'm scared. I'm older. And I want to be able to say to people, 'It's about what I do now.' I never thought I'd be a role model but I think to some people I am or have been."
"So this is an important time because it's about what I do next. How I handle myself now with grace, with dignity. This is the time now that matters," continued the former star of "The Real Housewives of New York City".
Ellen tried to lighten the mood by suggesting that it could be a good content for her upcoming talk show "Bethenny Ever After", saying, "That could be your new slogan, share your bad day with me." The soon-to-be divorced mother joked, "The Bethenny Show, it's a crappy day every day!"
On a serious note, she stated, "I'm going to have bad days, but the ones that I do have I'll go through that with the audience, and vice versa. It's going to be a journey and that's going to get me through this."
When asked why she didn't cancel her appearance on "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" when she knew that she could be grilled about the divorce since the subject was still fresh, she replied, "I can't just only be on reality TV and show everything when it's fairy princess, fairytale and then not take my hits when I have to."
"I've kind of had the best worst year ever. So I have to you know, it's the highs and the lows," she added.