October 05, 2012 08:43:02 GMT
The ex-frontwoman of The Pussycat Dolls says, 'My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction.'
Nicole Scherzinger opens up about her struggle with body-image issue. In an interview on VH1's "Behind the Music", the former lead singer of The Pussycat Dolls reveals that she's been fighting anorexia and self-harm issue while in the all-girl group.
"I just hated myself," the 34-year-old singer says as quoted by EW, revisiting the days when she's full of self-loathing. "I hated myself. I really was so disgusted with myself and so embarrassed. I felt so alone. I was in a group, and I never felt so alone in my life."
"I'm nervous about it," she says about addressing the issues for the first time. "It's embarrassing. I never spoke about it. Like I said, I never want to play a victim, and I never wanted my family to hear about things from me because I think it would break their heart, you know."
"I guess it was like my addiction, right? I never did drugs, but kinda doing things to myself was my addiction. It's like when I got off stage, I was on this high, and I'd come back to my room and I'd be alone, so I would just do things. My bulimia was my addiction; hurting myself was my addiction."
Talking about her habit to injure herself, Nicole opens up, "I did it everyday for, like, years. Every time I had a second to be alone, I was doing something to myself. You get, like, blisters on your hands or scars on your hands, and I'd try to hide those. I think the girls could tell."