February 21, 2012 06:28:21 GMT
Opening 'The Colbert Report' on February 20, the host denies that his show went on hiatus last week because he had a plastic surgery by saying, 'I did not have my eyes done... I had my a** done.'
In a comedic way, Stephen Colbert has cleared up rumors surrounding his absence from small screen last week. Resuming the production of "The Colbert Report" on Monday, February 20, he said in his monologue, "As the hub around which the Republic turns, I can understand why the machinery of this great nation ground to a halt last week when you were denied this," while pointing to his own face.
"Some people said that my show was canceled by the Federal Communications Commission at the request of the Federal Election Commission because I was about to announce my presidential candidacy... Not gonna happen," the comedian shut down one of the existing speculations. He then mentioned another false report, "Others said I was canceled because I offended the Catholic church when I compared the Pope's hat to a giant, yet stylish, prophylactic."
As for rumor that he was in rehab, Colbert called it "an attractive option," but added, "... if they have that for Diet Coke." He additionally denied that he took a time off because he had a plastic surgery. "Wrong, Joan [Rivers]! I did not have my eyes done, that is ridiculous. I had my a** done," he enthused.
While he didn't confirm that his mother was ill, the 47-year-old host did hint that he tended to her. "Oh, one more thing. Evidently, having 11 children makes you tough as nails. Confidential to a lovely lady," he concluded as the audience recognized that "the lovely lady" was his mom, Lorna.
When it was announced that "The Colbert Report" went on hiatus on Thursday and Friday, rumors surfaced that Colbert's 91-year-old mother was seriously ill. Comedy Central refused to comment on the matter, but the political satirist tweeted, "My family and I would like to thank everyone who has offered their thoughts and prayers. We are grateful and touched by your concern."