August 02, 2011 07:55:57 GMT
Though she keeps optimistic after third failed marriage, the 'On the Floor' hitmaker admits, 'This was the hardest decision I've ever had to face. I really wanted this family to work.'
Jennifer Lopez has given her first interview since announcing her separation from Marc Anthony to Vanity Fair. In the September issue of the magazine, the season 10 judge of "American Idol" opened up that she still believes in love although she has gone through three failed marriage.
"This was the hardest decision I've ever had to face," said the 42-year-old. "I really wanted this family to work. That was my biggest dream, and I worked hard at it. We both did. Sometimes it doesn't work - and that's sad. But I remain an eternal optimist about love. I believe in love...It's still my biggest dream."
Speaking about balancing work life, children and marriage, the "On the Floor" hitmaker told contributing editor Lisa Robinson, "It's getting increasingly harder. When we were [first] married, most of the time, and even before the babies were born, we were able to go everywhere together. I wasn't working as much. So we kind of had that."
"I went on tour with him a few times in the first few years of our marriage, and we did a film [El Cantante] together. It's hard, and we're figuring it out. It's tough," she continued. "And, everything is ramping up in a way. Like I said, we had the first three years of our marriage just for us. I wasn't working, it was mainly about him. Then we got pregnant. Then it became about the kids. And then I started working again."
J.Lo went on to acknowledge that "marriage is tough". She elaborated, "It's not going to be perfect...It's definitely challenging." Still, when it comes to love, the "What to Expect When You're Expecting" star claimed she's "a hopeless romantic and passionate person".
On why she and Marc ended their marriage, the songstress pointed out, "Sometimes we don't realize that we are compromising ourselves. To understand that a person is not good for you, or that that person is not treating you in the right way, or that he is not doing the right thing for himself - if I stay, then I am not doing the right thing for me. I love myself enough to walk away from that now."
Nonetheless, J.Lo noted, "I will always respect Marc as a singer and performer." She added, "We actually work great together, and he was always very supportive. Together we could make magic - and we did. He will always be in our lives. He will always hold a special place in my heart as the father of my children."